Friday, June 30, 2006

I Shot The Bride...




Last night I did my first ever bridal photo shoot, which happened to be the first time I photographer a bride on my own. Man was I nervous! The whole journey there I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest. When we got to Charing Cross station where we were supposed to meet the bride, I nearly turned around and went home but Matt wouldn't let me. LOL. I couldn't breathe, I was that nervous.

I was pretty tense at first but eventually we all relaxed a bit and I was having fun. We didn't actually plan much for this session so we were making up as we went but it turned out great. I am processing the pictures now and I think I did pretty good, specially for my first time. I have to say, however, that if it hadn't been for Matt, I just could not have done the shoot. He was great. He carried my camera gear, my tripod, the bride's bag and the bag the dress was in. On top of that, he helped me set up shots and gave me ideas for shots. I think I'll be bringing him along to every wedding I do! We got home pretty late because we were shooting up to 11:00 pm. It was a great experience and I got some nice shots so it's all good.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Love and Bowling

I assisted on a wedding on Friday, it was a LONG day. I got picked up at 7:20 am or so and didn't return until after 11 pm. We got to the bride's house and we asked to have breakfast. It was an Indian wedding so they kept wanting to feed us all day. The Sikh ceremony was in the morning at the bride's house followed by a catholic ceremony in the afternoon. It was all food, all day. We had some really good lamb with potatoes and broccoli for dinner and by the end of the night, I was exhausted. It was lots of fun though and I really can't wait to start shooting my own weddings. I really like this so far and I hope that it works out for me. I just love being a part of such a special day. A wedding is just beautiful and it really makes me me smile. The couple of weddings I have assisted so far, I have found myself smiling like an idiot during the ceremony. It reminds me of my own wedding and just puts me on a great mood.

Last night we decided to go see "Over The Hedge". We got to the movie theatre over half an hour before the movie was supposed to start so I dragged Matt next door to the bowling center for a game. Damn I suck! I guess I just need practice. We decided we should do it again because it's fun. The movie was really funny, I think I'll definitely buy it when it comes out on DVD.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Out And About

Last night we went to a get together for wedding photographers in London. It was good. We met at one of the studios for drinks first. I was a bit uncomfortable at first because I didn't know anyone and being so new, I didn't think I had anything to contribute. Thankfully two of the guys there grabbed me by the hand and dragged me around the place introducing me to people. Then it got fun. After drinks we went for dinner, where I had the best burger I've had in the UK so far. It was good to get out and meet some new people.

In response to the comment on my last blog entry, I didn't say there was anything wrong with being that sort of woman, I just said that I never understood the practice and I don't agree with it. We are all different people with different values and different priorities, and to each their own. If you are happy with being that sort of mother and wife, then by all means do so, after all, it's about choice and you chose to take that route, the more power to you!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Shattered Dreams

A little while ago, while searching for places to go to for New Year's Eve, I came to a very sad realization. I realized that I will never see my travel plans come true, I will never actually go on the round the world year long trip I had been planning for so many years. If I hadn't met Matt I'd be on that trip right now. I am happy that I met him but part of me sort of resents him for being the reason I am here and not "there". He still wants me to go ahead and do the trip at some point but it's just not the same. I guess for better or worse, my priorities have been changed.

I always disliked the sort of women that would martyrize themselves and put their dreams and aspirations on hold because of a husband or children. I never understood why they did it, why they would put themselves through such an unpleasant experience and live such frustrated lives. I always said I would never become one of them because I wouldn't lose my identity or my independence when I got married, but as you can see, things don't always work out as we want them to. Now I sit here, totally dependent on my husband with no money, no job, no friends, no dreams of my own, and quite frankly, it's freaking me out. I don't know how to handle this, I don't know how to make amends with myself. I don't want to live a frustrated life and most of all, I don't want to hurt my husband or grow to resent him beyond repair. I am just trying to refigure myself out.

Friday, June 16, 2006

When It Rains, It Pours.



It seems like problems just come one right after the other. Matt is finally out of work because the company was just bullshitting them too much. He's back to job hunting and has only gotten paid 2 weeks out of the 4 he worked. There are not a lot of jobs out there right now so who knows how long it's gonna be till he finds another one. To make matters worse, our kitchen sink drain is backed up. The water from the washing machine backs up into the sink and it just doesn't drain. We tried everything we could to unblock it, liquids, hot water, unscrewed the U tube thing but nothing. The blockage is in the pipe outside the apartment. The landlord is not responsible for blocked drains so now we have to shell out money for a plumber and we really can't afford it We sill have no living or dining room furniture and the prognosis is not good. The rent is due tomorrow, luckily we have money for that, and then there are bills. This is very frustrating because I have never been in this situation before, not since I left home to join the Navy anyway. This lack of money and gainful employment makes me uneasy.

On a lighter note, I decided to drag Matt to the park this afternoon for a little while. We just sat down on a sarong under a tree and hung out for a bit. That didn't last long but it was refreshing, kinda got my mind off things. Next time I'll make it a picnic.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Chili's and Spite




Today started out as a normal day, you know, woken up by the mail man, then woken up again by the Argos delivery guy, etc. After that I decided it just wasn't worth it to go back to sleep so I just lazed in bed for a little while, then got online. At about noon I decided I was starving and it just occurred me to that going to Chili's in Canary Wharf, an hour away, would be a great idea. So, I convinced Matt (didn't take much) and off we went. I had been craving a good steak for a while and we wanted to try the ribs to see if they were like the ones in the US (they are not). Man was it worth it! It was good steak. Not Ruth's Chris good but good nonetheless. I guess I was just craving some comfort food, a taste of home. This is all I have eaten today and I am still full. For some reason I got really tired after lunch and I just wasn't feeling good. When we got home I just went straight to bed and took a nap. I was feeling so weak that I had a hard time walking from the tube station to our home. The same thing happened the other day when we went to a kebob place. Very odd.

Matt was watching the show Top Gear earlier and they were talking about the movie The Italian Job, the remake. This show was shot before the movie came out (yes, it's that old) and they were just insulting Americans in general. This isn't the first time I see this on British TV, there was some comedian or other doing the same a couple days ago. It bothers me because I have never seen British people being so blatantly insulted on American TV. I thought Americans were the ones supposed to be self centered and obnoxious but I guess Brits have become just that in their effort to constantly snub and patronize Americans. They have become exactly what they have been criticizing. This is just my opinion and I realize not all British people are the same, but it sure makes living amongst them a tad bit difficult.

Monday, June 12, 2006

If You Can't Handle The Heat....

When I first moved here just over a month ago, I used to complain that it was so cold even though it was already May. I used to complain that it was always gray and rainy. It drove me nuts to not see the sun for over a week at a time and I prayed that it would clear up and the sun would shine again. Be careful what you ask for.....

The past few days have been pretty hot, but today especially. It was 28 Celsius/82 Fahrenheit but it was over 37 Celsius/100 Fahrenheit in the car. Just ridiculous. It was pretty hot, even for a Florida girl like me, but it's not so much about the heat but about the fact that there is no AC anywhere! I am used the heat, but I am used to the heat with nice air conditioning. The Brits' argument is that they don't need AC most of the time, and that's understandable but when they do need it, it would be nice to have, especially since most of them just can't cope with the heat. We went to meet a couple of friends for lunch and went to a kabab restaurant, no AC of course, the seats were made leather and I was wearing shorts. I sweat so much that by the time I got up to leave my ass was soaked and there was sweat all over the seat and running down my thighs....just disgusting. I don't know, but when it gets hot, it gets bloody hot, so just for those few days I'd get AC. It seems like there is just no middle ground, it's either cold or really hot, at least that's how it's been since I've lived here.

On a more positive note, I signed up for Weight Watchers on the UK site. I need to shed these pounds I've put back on and WW worked for me so I am getting back in the game. This time I will do my best to make it to my original goal weight.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Crazy Day

Yesterday I assisted a photographer during a wedding for the first time. I was pretty nervous because I didn't kow what to expect or what he expected of me but it turned out fine. I was at the location 10 minutes prior to the time I was told to be there at and he was half an hour late. We did a lot of running around moving the gear from the car and then chasing the bride and groom. No one seemed to know what the hell was going on and the bride kept changing her mind about whether she wanted pictures of her getting ready or not. When we were finally told to come up to her room, we knocked on her door for probably 5 minutes and on one answered. We came across her mom who got somebody to call her and tell her we were there. She told whoever she talked to "we are upstairs taking video". Of course, no one knew where "upstairs" was. Turns out it was on the second floor of her room.

We finally got inside and it was just pure mayhem. The photographer managed to get a couple pictures of her amidst all the craziness, then it was time to go to the ceremony, which didn't give us time to take the shots we wanted. Again, her fault, not ours. The ceremony started 15 minutes late and the room was half empty. People kept filtering in even while the recessional was going on. Incredible. Then we went to the courtyard to get some formals done, but only after hanging around the lobby for a good 15 minutes and having to literally pull the bride and groom outside. People would just not leave them alone. Even as the formals were being taken people kept walking up to the couple and wanting to talk. The bride wanted some shots around the hotel but that never happened because she also wanted a picture with EVERYONE at the wedding! We had assembled the lights before the ceremony for the inside formals and we didn't even use those. The photographer says that was one of the most disorganized weddings he's ever photographed. I went home at about 6:30pm.

Even though it was a crazy day, I enjoyed it. Now more than ever I want to get out there and shoot weddings. I love weddings and I want to help people remember theirs through great photography. This is the profession for me, no doubt.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Christmas in June

One and half months, and almost $800 dollars later, we finally received the pallet with the wedding gifts today. It was like Christmas! It's nice to finally have proper pots and pans, utensils, silverware, plates, etc but if we had known it would this much to ship it we wouldn't have. Today we also received some stuff we bought online. We now have a vacuum cleaner, bookshelves and a medicine cabinet. The place is a mess with boxes and crap all over.....what else is new? I really can't wait until we get the apartment looking decent and buy furniture. This still doesn't feel like a home.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Wired Again

After almost 3 weeks without internet at home, we are back up! Today Telewest connected our phone, cable tv and internet. Thank goodness. I was going stir crazy already. I mean, one thing is to just be a housewife and another is to be a housewife with no link to the outside world, no tv, no internet, no books, nothing. I had some bad days and one really bad day when I just cried all afternoon. I was homesick, I felt isolated and abandoned. Silly maybe but that goes to show you how isolation can take a toll on anyone.

Matt's job thing has been resolved and the contracts have been signed, they expect to get paid this week. As a result of said negotiations, he's off this whole week so we have been spending a lot of time together, mainly watching the seventh season of Charmed. He says he only watches it because it's entertaining and I watch it but I know he's addicted LOL.

I have decided to rename my photography business JQ Hawkins Photography, I am happy with that choice and it seems Brits like it better than Photos By June. My next task is to set up a website with a cheap template and some non wedding portfolio images until I have some wedding pictures to put up, then I'll invest in a proper web designer.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Matt's work situation hasn't improved much. They have been fighting to get contracts signed for a while now so they can invoice the company and get paid. This is the end of his fourth week working there and still no money. Today they had enough and decided to stop working until the company sorts the contracts out. Right now they are encrypting all the data so the company can't access it. I still can't believe this entire situation. It is just ridiculous. Matt has his agents looking for another job, hopefully this will work out.

To make matters worse, the crate that we sent from Florida with all the wedding gifts, etc is gonna cost us probably another $400 to receive. Stupid paperwork fees, fees for putting it through customs, then import duty if any, etc. If I had known this I wouldn't have registered for gifts or sent the crate.

The rent payment is coming up on the 17th and the water bill for the entire year has arrived. Expenses just keep mounting up and we have no income. I've applied for a job but that was 2 days ago and I haven't heard anything from them. We have a huge credit card bill that keeps getting bigger by the day. I really don't know what we are going to do, I am starting to freak out a bit. I know what they say, but, do all bad things really come to and end???