Are We There Yet????

Last Minute Journey

2007-05-22T11:56:00.000+01:00

Well, I'm off to Tunisia this evening. After a series of events I do not care to mention at this time, I decided I needed some time off so I booked the flights last night. I'll be gone for two and a half weeks and I doubt I'll blogging much if at all. I hope to be back with a new outlook on life and lots of pretty pictures!

Yesterday In A Nutshell

2007-05-18T11:55:00.001+01:00

After months of moaning and threatening to quit, yesterday was my last day at work. I am technically on annual leave until the 30th of this month but I don't have to go in anymore. I am SO glad it's over! I hated the 12 hour shifts, I hated the commute, I hated working nights and the pay wasn't that great. However, great or not, it was pay which I will no longer have. That is freaking me out a bit specially since we are planning the move back to the US which will no doubt be expensive. But hey, what's done is done. I will start looking for something closer to home next week.

Because they owed me 6.5 days of annual leave, I only worked half a day yesterday so I was outta there at 2pm. This gave me plenty of time to go shopping for a pair of red shoes I have been looking for ever since I bought a cute green dress last week. While looking around, I came across a very pretty and feminine pair of pink lace shoes that looked very vintage. I tried them on and I had to have them, so I did. I kept looking in the same store and, as I turned around a corner, I came face to face with a pair of Irregular Choice shoes I had been lusting after for a while but the IC online store was out of in my size. I tried them on and they fit like a glove AND they were the last pair in my size so.....there was no way I could leave them behind; They came home with me. By the time I got to the red shoes I wanted to buy, I couldn't because I had already spent way too much money. Next time :)

Faith

Irregular Choice "Kezia"

Office "Bewitched"

These came in the mail today. I ordered them last week and I have to say, they are even prettier in person than in pictures.

On The Floor, In The Round.

2007-05-12T20:01:00.000+01:00

For some reason, I have been into Michael Jackson a lot late, specially "Billie Jean". I have had it stuck in my head for weeks. I downloaded it from iTunes and listened to it lots. A couple of weeks ago, Matt bought me a couple of MJ CD's and I listened to it some more. I even watched the video on YouTube. It's like a mini obsession I just can't get enough of. It's weird, I know. Well, today, on the way back from the mall, we were driving and guess what came on the radio........"Billie Jean"! It's not just that I am seeking it out, it even pops up when I am not! It's crazy, crazy, crazy!

All of this has of course, had me thinking about Michael Jackson himself. Personal issues aside, the man is a performer like no other. He's second to none at what he does and no one can take that away from him. He can sing like no other, dance like no other and put on a show like no other. I mean, how many singers can you name that had a single enter the charts at #1??? That's right, just Michael Jackson.

So, the man has issues.....but then again, don't we all?

Of Veg and Shoes.

2007-05-10T00:59:00.000+01:00

You know, I make no excuses for not blogging more often. I have periods where I just don't feel like blogging; not because there is nothing going on but simply because I'm too lazy. This past few weeks was one of those periods. I did mean to post, I even took pictures to post but just didn't. There.

As you can read back and find out, I sowed some lettuce on the 15th of April, which, much to my surprise, were showing above the ground just a three days later. Well, they are pretty big now and I think we'll be eating our first salad from them in the next couple of weeks. One of the rows of romaine lettuce didn't germinate though, which is a shame. The romaine that did germinate is doing well too but they will take a bit longer than the other mixed lettuce. The cabbages are doing good too despite their slug issues at the beginning which nearly killed them. One of the plants is really big and the other two are not too shabby. The strawberry plants now have two strawberries and many, many, many flowers. The rocket, which I thought wouldn't make it, has sky rocketed....pun intended! I think I'm gonna have to move it because it's overshadowing the rest of the herbs. The carrots are doing very well too, we have thinned them out a couple times and there are still plenty of them. I think we will start eating baby ones sometime in June and make room for the rest to grow more.

I have to say, that even though I'm a self proclaimed city girl through and through, seeing all this success with growing these plants is pretty amazing and enjoyable. I can see how some people can get totally hooked. I am not obsessive about it like I have been with other hobbies but I do wish I had more room to grow things. If we were to stay in the UK, I think I'd try to get an allotment. I am hoping that when we move to the US we find a place that has a big enough backyard for this and that the landlord is kind enough to allow me to use it as a vegetable garden.

Well, enough with gardening and on to girly things. I have, for the first time, actually counted and photographed all my shoes. Before I started, I thought the count would come to 50 something but I was off, way off. I counted a total of 74 pairs including flip flops and sneakers. In actually, it's 76 because I left two pairs out, one intentionally and one accidentally. I didn't realize I had this many, but, when I look at the pictures, it doesn't really seem like that many! I guess that does make me a shoe addict but there are people worse than me out there....and not all women! Here are the pictures: Shoe Inventory

Keeping with the theme; to make a long story short, a couple of weeks ago I placed a bid on a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes on eBay thinking I'd be outbidded but won. The shoes arrived and they were actually very nice on me but they had a bit of sharpie graffiti on the bottom which I thought was strange cause the auction didn't mention anything about any writing. I was a bit peeved and I contacted the seller asking for a refund. A day or so later, I was looking at some pictures of a shoe signing at the new Manolo Blahnik boutique in Dubai when it hit me......"Could this possible be a signed shoe????" So, I looked some stuff up and it is! It is Manolo Blahnik's signature on my shoe! I still can't believe it specially considering the shoe was a bargain and new although it was listed at "gently worn". Some luck that!

A Most Irregular Choice

2007-04-23T17:42:00.000+01:00

As if my infatuation with Manolo Blahnik and Christian Louboutin shoes wasn't enough, I have recently discovered a new love. OK, maybe love is too strong a word here but serious like is not far off. About 3 weeks ago, I mentioned one a forum I frequent that I wished there was something like www.zappos.com in the UK. To my delight, someone mentioned a website they thought was along those lines and I checked it out. On their main page; staring at me, were the funkiest shoes I had seen up until that moment. I clicked on them and though "WOW, that's different!" I started browsing the rest of the shoes on the site and I kept seeing these incredibly funky shoes that I really liked. I started paying attention and they were all the same brand.....Irregular Choice.

I googled them and went straight to their online shop where they had even more styles. They had camel toe ones, heart shaped toes, etc. All of the shoes are definitely not your average kind, they are very, very....well.....irregular! Some are just too much for me but there are others that I really liked and couldn't wait to get.

I am a bit wary about buying shoes online these days because of the sizing issues I'm facing. I am US 7/7.5 or a UK 5 or a European 38 judging from the shoes I have actually tried on before buying but it seems lots of the stores can't make up their minds when it comes to size equivalents. For example, some places say that a US 7.5 is a European 37.5 and not a 38, etc. So, after drooling over a pair of shoes, I decided it was time to go to the store and get them.

I got there and it was heaving. There were many other brands of shoes but I headed straight for Irregular Choice. There they were, in real life. I asked for a UK 5 and tried them on. They fit perfectly and they were pretty comfortable too. The pair they brought out was a bit scratched on the tip so I asked for a different pair in the same size. After a few minutes, they came back and told me that was the last pair they had, not just in my size but in that style period. So, I went home with no shoes.

I went back a few days later hoping they had stocked up but no luck there. So, after much deliberation, I ordered them online late last week. They showed up today and they were just as deliciously weird as I remembered them and scratch free.

In buying these shoes, and in liking the brand, I am taking a HUGE leap from my regular purchases and taking a big chance. I normally buy traditional(ish) shoes and these are definitely like nothing I have ever bought before. I thought it was time to expand my horizons and take risks with my shoe purchases. I aim to slowly stray from my comfort zone.

Foodstuff.

2007-04-18T20:37:00.000+01:00

When I went to water the veggies today, I was very pleasantly surprised to see that some of the seeds we sowed on Sunday (the mixed salad ones) have already germinated and are showing through the compost! That was quick!

I was craving some Cuban food so I took matters into my own hands and did the best I could with what I had available. I made red beans, rice, steaks in a pot with tomato sauce (Cuban style) and fried plantains. For dessert, I made a Cuban bread pudding, which is VERY different for the American and specially the British stuff. Things didn't taste as good as my mom's but hey, she has decades of practice!

Just One More Thing....

2007-04-15T21:57:00.000+01:00

On the 2nd of April, the US Embassy charged $190 to our credit card and on Friday 13th April I received a postcard from the Embassy saying the I-130 was filed on the 2nd. YAY!!!!!!! The process has officially started and we are being allowed to file here in London which is MUCH quicker!

OK, one more thing.....really. We ordered a Wii today!!! It won't be here for another week but better late than never!

Shopping, Shopping and More Shopping.

2007-04-15T21:37:00.000+01:00

It's been a busy weekend! On Friday, in hopes of staying up after a night shift so I could get back into sleeping at night, I went shopping in Oxford Street. I shopped until I very nearly dropped. It's still a mystery to me how I was able to stay awake for so long and not just collapse in the middle of H&M. I was shopping for well over 5 hours and in all that time I only walked up and down two blocks once and bought just 4 pieces of clothing.

On Saturday Matt and I decided there was still more shopping that needed to be done. We went in search of smart trousers for him and anything for me. We walked up and down the mall and came away with his stuff and only a pair of yellow jelly flats, some white skinny jeans and a top for me. For a woman, I'm a pretty lame shopper! Unless it comes to shoes of course.

After all that shopping, we dressed up and went to dinner at an American style diner/bar in Covent Garden. The food was pretty good and the place had a party atmosphere which I suppose is why it's so popular, specially for hen nights/bachelorette parties.

Today there was even more shopping but this time it was for garden supplies. Seeing that the strawberries are blooming and the carrots are actually growing, I decided to try my luck with other fast growing veggies and herbs. We bought some grow bags to plant in because pots are just too expensive. As for plants, we bought a pack of 9 young cabbage plants, some herbs and a balcony hanging pot to plant them in.

We came home and planted the cabbages in one bag and in the other we sowed some romaine lettuce seeds and mixed lettuce seeds. If all goes well, we should be eating lettuce in a month or so. We could only plant 3 cabbages in one grow bag so tomorrow I'm going to get more bags to plant the rest of the cabbages. The herbs; rosemary, sage, parsley and chives; only took up a bit of the pot so I'll get either more herbs or a couple small tomato plants tomorrow to fill the gap.

I can't wait till all this stuff is ready to eat!

This is what the carrots look like now.

The "garden" The plastic pot is the carrots. The middle bag is romaine lettuce on the left hand side and mixed lettuce on the right. The bottom bag is the cabbages.

Close up of the cabbages.

Herbs.

What the strawberry plants look like now.

The Agony and The Temporary Relief.

2007-04-10T12:04:00.000+01:00

Problems have a way of surfacing when there is absolutely squat you can do about it. Take toothaches for example. This past weekend was a long weekend in the UK, with Friday and Monday being bank holidays so it turned into a very long weekend. After a normal day and a hot air balloon ride on Friday, I woke up with a freaking toothache on Saturday. To make matters worse, I worked the weekend so I had to suck it up.

On Saturday, it was bearable. I knew I had a toothache but it wasn't anything to whine about. I didn't even take pain meds, I just worked. Sunday morning I still had the toothache when I woke up, but again, it wasn't TOO bad. During the afternoon though, it started to get really bad, bad to the point where I decided I'd see the emergency dentist at the hospital where I work after my shift. In the meantime, I took drugs....lots of drugs.

The dentist said I had a small cavity under one of my fillings and I needed to see my regular dentist to get it fixed. Of course, that wouldn't be till Tuesday at the very earliest because everything was closed for the long weekend. She gave me some antibiotics and sent me on my way.

I really thought I'd be able to wait till Friday when I got off work again to go to my dentist because the pain wasn't too bad but by midday on Monday, I was ready to reach in there and pull the damned tooth out myself. I was taking meds but they weren't helping, they weren't even lasting the full 4 hour dose; two hours after taking them I was hurting again. We were supposed to go to Matt's parents' for dinner but we had to cancel because I was so miserable. I was able to sleep through Monday night, unlike Sunday, but I was awake and hurting by 7am.

I managed to get an emergency appointment for today I 10:15am with my dentist. I showed up and they saw me promptly. Turns out she couldn't see any decay on the xray and when she removed my old filling, she definitely saw no decay. She couldn't see a crack in the tooth either so we don't know why I was in so much pain. She replaced the old filling with some sort of soothing layer and a new filling on top of that. I'm supposed to call on Friday and tell them whether the pain's gotten better or not and depending on the answer, we may need to consider a root canal....which the NHS doesn't cover of course.

So, here I sit, with the right side of my face numb, probably drooling due to lack of muscle control and it is the best I've felt in days. I wonder how much longer the anesthetic is going to last.

Died And Gone To (Designer) Heaven.

2007-04-05T16:06:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was one of those days you just don't see coming. It started out just like any other day except I decided to bug Matt (again) about "letting" me buy some shoes I had been lusting after for a while. The shoes in question weren't any old shoe mind you, they were incredibly expensive Manolo Blahnik and Christian Louboutin respectively. After hours of sweet talking without actually saying the words, he agreed and off we went to Chelsea and Knightsbridge.

The Manolo Blahnik store closed earlier so we went there first. We took the tube down to South Kensington and somehow he convinced me to walk (it's quite a walk, don't do it!). On the way there, I was a nervous wreck; at one point on the tube, I almost burst into tears. How sad is that? I had been waiting for this day for so long that it just didn't seem real that I was actually on my way to come face to face with the creations of the shoe god himself. All these just for a store; a very exclusive boutique mind you, but still, just a store.

We got there and of course, we had to ring a bell to be let in. I was there and I really couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to do with myself or even worse, how to behave. I was expecting the attendants to be snobby but they were quite the opposite. They treated me very nicely and sure made me feel welcome. I had a look around the store and, much to my horror, I was pretty disappointed with the selection. I wasn't looking for day shoes, I wasn't looking for trendy shoes; I was just looking for a nice pair of d'orsay pumps or something classy like that and...alas! they didn't have any. Turns out, as the attendant kindly informed me, this is the store where God, I mean, Manolo Blahnik experiments with new stuff and that I'd have better luck in the US.

Nonetheless, I tried on some shoes which the attendant happily put on my feet; they were so incredibly light that it almost felt like I was barefoot. They weren't right for me so he showed me another pair he thought might suit me better but again, failure. I have to say, I was gutted, gutted beyond any gutted feeling I had ever had before. I felt my little heart just shatter into tiny pieces as I walked out of that shrine empty-handed. The service on the other hand, was superb. I was the only customer in the store which made the experience a lot more surreal. Again, the attendant was great and treated me with great respect even though I didn't "look the part" and was wearing my clunky Clarks clogs. He even informed me that they change all their stock twice a year, in February and then in August and that I should come back in August and see if I had better luck. Well, I sure as hell will!

After this bittersweet experience, we took a taxi to the slightly less exclusive Christian Louboutin boutique. We got there and there was one other customer who had several boxes of shoes spread out on the floor, mostly espadrilles....to each their own. Looking at the shoes on display was almost like a visual orgasm. No other shoe has ever exuded so much sex appeal as the va-va-voom red sole beauties. They were everywhere, all heel heights and even different colors. I had my heart set on a black pair of pumps because I think the red soles are better highlighted by black uppers. I tried on several pairs but they didn't have my size in the really hot shoes, which is understandable as I have a pretty common size feet and those are the most popular shoes they have.

I tried a pair of black pumps with 120mm (4.7inch) heels that were just sex toys for your feet. I had never in my life worn hotter shoes. I had never in my life felt so incredibly sexy. Matt said I should definitely get those because they were HOT! As my luck would have it, they were a bit too tight in the front. The attendant said that patent leather gives but I don't know just how much and that's a lot of money to spend on a pair shoes that may or may not fit after a couple of wears. I ended up buying a pair of kid skin peep toe mary janes with a 100mm (4 inch) heel that while not as sexy, as very nice and fit quite comfortably. We paid (don't ask how much) and of we went. I was clutching that bag as if my life depended on it and I had a HUGE grin on my face.

I wanted to see if Harrods had those sexy heels in my size (they didn't) so we walked there as we were pretty close. On the way though, I got distracted walking down Sloane Street, by the likes of Jimmy Choo, Prada, Chanel, Gucci, Roberto Cavalli, Louis Vuitton, Versace, Fendi, Hermes and countless others. I had never seen so many designer boutiques lined up like that. Heck, I had never seen many designer boutiques to begin with! I kept wishing I had married a millionaire! It's tough to walk by so many nice stores and not be able to buy anything. It's like taking a kid to a candy store and telling them they are not allowed to have any candy, not even a piece. In my next life, I will marry a millionaire and live in Knightsbridge. In the meantime, all I can do is lust after those ever elusive Manolo's and admire my gorgeous Louboutin's. Come think of it, I think I will be getting those 120mm pumps after all.

More Planting and More Cooking.

2007-04-01T23:58:00.000+01:00

Carrots, Week 1

We went out and bought those carrot seeds and planter today. We went to B&Q for a change and I have to say I wasn't impressed. After lunch at TGI Fridays (confirmed....they are the same everywhere!), we came home, put dinner in the oven and went downstairs to plant the carrots. It was a little less intimidating for me this time but of course it brought its own little issues to the equation.

I put dinner in the oven at 3:30pm because I made a beef roast with potatoes and carrots in a clay baker that required 30 minutes of soaking and 4.5 hours of slow cooking at a very low temperature. When I opened the pot and poked the meat, I couldn't believe how incredibly tender it was; so much so that I didn't even need a knife to carve it, I just pulled it apart. The veg were very tender and sweet too. I have to say I am impressed with this clay cooking thing, I wasn't so sold on the idea but I can see why people get hooked on it, you can make even a cheap cut of meat taste like heaven. Delicious.

Strawberry Planting Success

2007-03-31T23:24:00.000+01:00

I finally planted the strawberry plants today. I suspect it might have a riot for anyone watching me; it certainly was for Matt. At first, I tried to handle the compost with a small gardening shovel as to not get my hands dirty or make a mess but I failed at the latter. Matt had enough of me being so "delicate" so he came to the balcony and dug his hands in the bag of compost while I screamed "NO!!! You are wearing your ring!! He laughed and kept at it. Not to be outdone by him, I dug in too, all the time thinking "I can't believe I have my hands in a bag of rotten food leftovers"

The operation was successful and quick and I, well we, were able to plant all the little plants. At first we thought the pot wasn't going to get much sun in the balcony but it turns out that after 2pm, the that corner gets plenty of sun, specially now that the days are longer. If needed, however, we'll put it down in the garden. Let's see if they plants die or what.

I have tons of compost left and I enjoyed the planting process so I think I'm going to plant carrots or something tomorrow! Now I'm starting to feel like Martha Stewart.....scary.

PS. Yesterday's soup was DELISH!!!!

Mutilation, Books, and Strawberry Plants

2007-03-30T15:46:00.000+01:00

Armed with a meat cleaver right out of a B horror flick, a pair of bone tearing kitchen sheers and some Good Housekeeping instructions, I lay the bird down on its back and proceeded to hack at it and tear it apart as if it was my worst enemy. It all sounds so gory but it was fun....in a weird and twisted way. I just cut up a whole chicken for the first time in my life and quite honestly, I was a bit intimidated by the whole thing. I kept thinking I was going to chop one of my fingers off with the damned cleaver.

I had been craving chicken noodle soup for a while and after trying some vile UK canned stuff, I decided I was going to make my own......from scratch. I didn't think it would be such a time consuming process but I am an hour into the process and dinner isn't going to be till at least 7pm. I hope it's really tasty otherwise I'll import some Campbell's Chunky Chicken Noodle Soup, which is what I wanted anyway.

On that note, I read on a website a couple days ago that while Americans love home cooked meals, there has been a big drop in actual home cooking and people are eating out more and more. Surprisingly enough, this has occurred at the same time that the sales of cookbooks and cooking magazines have increased to all time high and interest in cooking, thanks to cooking shows, has exploded. Americans fantasize with a dream kitchen and many spends thousands of dollars in kitchen renovations, sometimes taking out a second mortgage to do so only to have those new, shiny kitchens go unused while the family dines out. I have to say, I am one of those Americans.

For instance, I do fantasize about the perfect kitchen, I buy lots of cooking utensils, cooking appliances, cookbooks, cooking magazines, kitchen gadgets, you name it; yet, I hardly cook. I do enjoy cooking but it's just too time consuming even if I do have loads of time. As a perfect example, yesterday we went to Borders and I got not one, not two, not three but four cooking magazines, 3 of them expensive American imports. I don't really read them, I mostly look at the pictures and the names of the recipes and doggy ear the ones I think look good, then the magazines sit in a corner of the second bedroom or perhaps the hallway until I put them away somewhere, along with the hundreds of other cooking magazines I've accumulated in the past 6 years that I just can't bring myself to throw away. I have countless cookbooks, although probably not as many as other people, and they sit on the shelves most of the time; every now and then I pick them up and maybe pick a recipe and give it a shot or if I'm craving something, I'll look it up and try to make it. I am not a good cook; I just follow recipes really well.

As if cooking and buying cooking stuff wasn't enough, I have recently felt the desire to plant my own strawberries, which then gave way to planting my own herbs. So, yesterday before going to Borders, and being the main purpose of our trip, we went to Homebase seeking out the garden center. Again, following a magazine article, I picked a strawberry pot (it has holes on the sides), a bag of compost and a few strawberry plants that are now sitting on the hallway. I will plant them tomorrow and hopefully we'll have berries in the summer.

I'm not sure what's taken over me. I can't quite pin point when I started having all these domestic urges.....me a city girl wanting to plant stuff....preposterous! Maybe it was when I made those cupcakes a few weeks ago. Perhaps it was when a few months ago I, foolishly, volunteered to have my in-laws over for a Christmas Eve meal that would require me to spend 2 days in the kitchen. I had never cooked such a meal before, especially not for so many people. The most people I had ever cooked for were 4 and it was easy shrimp bisque a good 8 years ago. As you can imagine, a meal like that is when all those dusty cookbooks come in very handy.

So, if anyone knows how to stop these domestic urges, please let me know, I have a reputation to keep up!

Our Days Are Numbered

2007-03-28T16:00:00.000+01:00

That is right ladies and gentlemen, we have officially started the process to move back to the US and our days in the UK are numbered!. Today I submitted my petition for alien relative (I-130) and if all goes well, Matt should have his visa by mid August. Having gone through this before, at beneficiary's end, I know that US immigration is anything but straightforward, however, I am keeping my fingers crossed for this one because I really need, want, whatever to be in the US by mid to late August because classes starts on August 27th and I don't want to have to wait another semester.

I don't see any reasons whatsoever why Matt would be denied his visa but I am freaking out anyway, just as I was freaking out when we went through the UK visa process for me, which is, by the way, a heck of a lot simpler than the US visa. So many forms and red tape have my head spinning. I knew there was a reason why we decided to move to the UK to begin with!

Now we play the waiting game......

Trip To The Museum

2007-03-23T15:31:00.000Z

It had been a long time since Matt and I had gone anywhere shooting or even just because. So, yesterday we decided it was about time we did something. In the early afternoon, he headed to the Museum of London. When we got there, we found out that lots of the museum was closed till 2009 but we decided to go ahead and see the rest anyway, specially because it was free. What we did see was alright but from what I hear, the closed exhibits are the best ones. Oh well, at least we got out of the house for a while, which we both needed.

One Year Down!

2007-03-21T15:46:00.000Z

Yesterday was our first wedding anniversary. I still can't believe it's been a whole year since the wedding. It feels like it was only yesterday we were saying our I do's and going on honeymoon. I wonder where time has gone.

They say that the first year of marriage is the most difficult and I hope so. Our first year brought along its share of trials and tribulations and I honest to goodness hope that is as bad as it will get. I'd be a hypocrite if I said I never doubted my decision to get married and it would also be very misleading to those who are thinking about tying the knot. It's not all ups, sometimes there are very deep downs.

No one ever tells you that you may at some point during your first year or marriage, and perhaps later on, doubt your decisions, wonder what the hell you have done or worse.......no one ever tells you that at some point, you are pretty likely to panic, out of the blue, and want to run for the hills leaving everything behind and whispering that taboo phrase to yourself...."I think I want a divorce."

No one ever tells you that the person who you thought was your soul mate will drive you absolutely insane at one point or another. No one ever tells you that they will rub you the wrong way and get on your last nerve. I wish someone had told me that I would come to, at times, resent my husband for decisions that I had made on my own only because he was the only person I could blame aside from myself.

So I will tell you, all those things happen. They happen to the best and most secure of us. We are afraid of change and even when we willingly face changes, they tend to freak us out. All of us. I seriously doubt there is a single person out there who has never gone through any of this, no matter how much they love their spouse...which I certainly do.

I will also tell you that it does pass, and if you stick it out, you will be rewarded. I'm still amazed that I have found someone that despite my moodiness and other problems, loves me. I'm also amazed to find that I love him too, despite all his issues, those who I knew prior to our wedding and those I have found out later on. The truth is, he's not perfect, but neither am I. At the end of the day, I love coming home to him. I love sharing my life with such an extraordinary man. I love it that he makes me happy despite everything and that I, too, am able to make him happy. He's the only constant thing in my life and I don't know what I would do if he was to go away.

On a more cheery note! We went to The Ritz in London for dinner last night to celebrate. We had the most amazing meal ever. We specially liked the Chateaubriand that we shared. That was one of the best steaks I've had in my life! The food was amazing, the service was amazing, the setting was too. The whole experience was just incredible. We made the effort to look nice and I sure felt like a million bucks! Matt looked great in his suit and I looked pretty damn good too.....if I can say so myself ;)

Ah.....if only we could afford to eat at The Ritz at least every month! A girl can dream ;)

Darling, I love you and I am looking forward to many, many, many more anniversaries!!!

PS. There is a book called "What No One Tells The Bride" by Marg Stark that I highly recommend! There is another one called "I do, I did, Now what?" by Jenny Lee that is very good too. They are both light reading and pretty short books.

Domestic Goddess....NOT!

2007-03-10T22:08:00.000Z

Every now and then, I get the urge to bake something. Sometimes I make cookies, sometimes I make scones. Today, I decided I wanted to make cupcakes. Just out of the blue, I told Matt to find a cupcake recipe in a cupcake book I have. I was in the mood for just plain vanilla cupcakes with frosting. He made a shopping list, which he then forgot to bring to the store. Luckily, he remembered what we needed.

Just like every other time I bake anything, I came to the conclusion that it would be MUCH easier if I had a mixer, specially a Kitchenaid. I keep telling myself that if I had a Kitchenaid mixer, I'd bake much more often. Creaming butter with a fork is no easy task!

Just as I put the cupcakes in the oven, I realized I had used 2oz of butter less than the recipe called for. I blame it on the recipe, it called for sticks of butter and I had to do the math to convert it to ounces. I knew I needed 8oz but for some reason I can't explain, I only used 6oz. I was freaking out a bit but then I realized, hey, what's the worst that could happen?

The truth is, they weren't the best I've had but they weren't bad either. They would have been a bit more moist had I used the right amount of butter but they are good anyway, specially with the butter frosting and the sprinkles. To me, eating the baked goods is not as much fun as actually baking them. I love to cook and I love to bake. I really should do it more often. That I blame on my small kitchen!

As If I needed More Reasons To Want To Leave London!

2007-03-07T20:23:00.000Z

Now that I actually leave the house and take the tube to work on a regular basis, I have adopted the London way of catching up with the news....I read the Metro in the morning on my way to work and The London Paper and the London Lite in the evening on the way home. Most of the time none of the news really catch my eye, they are mostly a shooting here, a stabbing there, so and so wants their £28 million back, etc. However, yesterday The London Paper had an article about the most expensive cities in the world to live in. I knew London was very expensive, but it never occurred to me that it's gotten to the point where it is even more expensive than Tokyo.... for the first time ever. It has been ranked 4th in the world with Oslo, Paris and Copenhagen as 1st, 2nd and 3rd respectively. Previously, London ranked 7th.

"The capital shot up the league of the world's most expensive cities, topping Tokyo for the first time, and costing 25 percent more than New York City" That's pretty outrageous, specially considering what most people get paid here. I always have a hard time comprehending how some people can afford to live in London when I hear what their salary is. According to the survey, a pint of beer in London costs £3, a loaf of bread costs £1.09 and a pint of milk 50p. The same items costs 58p, 50p, and 40p in Mumbai, one of the 3 cheapest cities. Manchester prices were a quarter lower than London's. No other UK city was on the list. In comparison, Atlanta is now the cheapest city in the USA with prices below the average in Casablanca, Morocco.

This evening's headline was equally disconcerting, if not more so. It read "London is 'capital of sex slave trade' " Apparently, thousands of young girls are brought to London with promises of work but once here, are forced to prostitute themselves, forced into sweat shops, etc. Some of these girls are as young as 14 and are coming from Eastern Europe, China, and West Africa. While it's mostly men that run these human trafficking operations, oftentimes it is other women who lure these girls out of their homes. How a woman can do that to another woman is beyond me.

Scotland Yard "also fears that children are being brought here from Africa to take part in religious sacrifices"

As you can see, London is a less than ideal place to live. That is just scratching the surface, not a day goes by that the newspapers don't have some shooting, stabbing, or other violent crime news. Tube beatings, muggings, rapes, you name it. Despite this, a significant amount of Londoners swear crime in London is much less than crime in any given US city because of the "lack" of access to guns, etc. I guess the Nile is not just a river in Egypt.

10 Random Tracks

2007-03-04T20:40:00.000Z

A while ago, there was a thread started on UK-Yankee.com and the original post went like this:

"Sometimes I worry about my music choices. I mean, if I were mowed down by a bus whilst crossing the street and someone picked up my ipod to see what I was listening to at the time of the accident, they'd get a really odd impression of my personality. To attest to this, I performed a little experiment....just put it on shuffle and have listed the first 10 tracks that played."

I wonder if people can really tell much about you and your personality based on your choice of music. I, for example, have a pretty eclectic music taste but I'm not that way with everything else. So, I am going to do the test again and see what comes up:

1. "Cara De Nino" Jerry Rivera
2. "Without Me" Eminem
3. "El Desierto" Mana
4. "Fuiste Un Troso De Hielo En La Escarcha" Chayanne
5. "En Las Nubes" Jerry Rivera
6. "Declaration Of Love" Celine Dion
7. "La Chula" Mana
8. "Algo De Mi" Camilo Sesto
9. "Somos Novios" Luis Miguel
10"Let's Make A Night To Remember" Bryan Adams

So, after that, I concluded you'd be able to tell I speak Spanish and have really bad taste in music. Just for the record, I don't have much Celine Dion music on my iPod! So, how about the first 1o songs in English? Let's give that a try:

1. "Hey Baby" No Doubt
2. "You Got It" 'N SYNC (I plead the 5th!)
3. "Tricky, Tricky" Lou Bega
4. "Missing My Baby" Selena
5. "Baby Keep Smiling" Lou Bega
6. "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" Rod Stewart
7. "Breathe" Michelle Branch
8. "Not Coming Home" Maroon 5
9. "Just A Little Bit Of Love" Celine Dion
10."Uptown Girl" Billy Joel

So, what does that say about me??

News Revealed

2007-03-03T10:34:00.000Z

OK, about this big change, I'll put some of you out of your misery! No, I'm not pregnant (sorry mom and dad!) but we have decided to move back to the US THIS year! Of course, that is no big secret now as I'm sure most of you who read my blog already knew that. I didn't want to say anything because I was in the process of getting a job and I didn't want this go get back to them before the contracts were signed. We are aiming for August but it all depends on the visa situation. So there :)

OK, I'm off to shoot a wedding now!

I'm Back!

2007-02-06T15:50:00.000Z

I know it's been almost two months since I last posted anything but the truth is, I have been pretty lazy, no other excuse! I went to the US for about 10 days and now I'm back in London. A couple of major changes have occured though but I think I will keep them quiet for now, those of you who know me know what the BIG change is and that's enough. I also got a job with the NHS as a tech in the Emergency Department of the Royal London Hospital. It is almost the same position I had in Naples but with a narrower scope of practice. The pay isn't so great but I do like the job and something is better than nothing. I should be starting on the 5th of March. I can't wait.

Busy Bee

2006-12-14T22:12:00.000Z

Today has been a very productive day. I finally got around to hanging the pictures we've had just laying around for months. I found hooks that actually go into solid walls. I also decorated the mantle and hung two stockings. The place looks a lot more festive now. We build the other two dining chairs and the side tables for the living room. If all that wasn't enough, I made scones for the first time. They weren't brilliant but they were good enough to eat. I wish every day was this successful!

Crazy Weekend

2006-12-11T15:45:00.000Z

This was a crazy weekend. On Saturday, Matt and I went to Bath for a get together and the Christmas Market. The tube was slow and we made it to Paddington Station about 3 minutes before the train was scheduled to leave. We still had to pick up the tickets from the machine. I didn't think we could do it but we literally ran to the machines, collected the tickets and then ran to the platform where the train door closed right after I got in and the train departed.

In an hour and half, we were in Bath. We had a little time to kill before the meeting time so we decided to indulge in some geocaching. We found one of the caches easily. The second cache was a two part one. We found the first part with no problem but do to some dodgy math on Matt's part, we ended up looking for the second part in the wrong place and thus were unable to find it. It was time for lunch so we moved on.

We had lunch at Cafe Uno, by the weir. After lunch, having over 4 hours to kill before we had to take the train back to London, we were left by ourselves to figure out what the heck to do. We gave the cache a second try, with the right math and coordinates this time and found it. It was in a lovely place that is usually overlooked. After that, we wandered through the Christmas Market and did some shopping. Bath is a small town and there is only so much you can see and so much time you can spend walking around. With about 3 hours left to kill, we started looking for a pub/cafe to have a drink and kill time. Every freaking place in the town was jam packed. We walked and walked until we just couldn't take it anymore. We were tired, cranky and pissed off. Thankfully, we found a pub that had tables in the non smoking section. We settled in with a beer and a diet coke and played some Scrabble on my Pocket PC.

With about 40 minutes left till train time, we left the pub in search of a bacon roll for me. I had been craving one since the morning and we finally found it. It was made with organic bacon and it was yummy. By the time we got on the train, I was pretty sleepy and completely exhausted. Our seats were in the cafe car and there were some guys at the other end being pretty loud. I was trying to take a nap so we moved to the quiet car. This was fine, until we got to Reading.

In Reading, some loud and obnoxious men sat in our car. They were drinking beer, as well as throwing it around and being incredibly annoying. I already have a very bad opinion of this British "drinking culture" and this episode did nothing to improve that, quite the contrary. I won't really say much more about this because I don't want to start getting hate mail but I swear I just wanted to strangle those men.

We finally made it home just after 10:30pm, totally exhausted and pretty crabby. We went straight to bed, only to have to get up early again in Sunday.

On Sunday we went to Matt's grandparent's for the Christmas visit. We were treated to a huge turkey meal that I am still full from :) After lunch, we went geocaching with Matt's parents and just couldn't get to the damned thing. Everywhere we went, there was water between us and the cache. It was also very muddy so we decided it wasn't worth it this time.

After we got home at about 5:30pm, I went down to Victoria for another gtg. It was nice to see everyone again to meet new people.

Geocaching

2006-12-02T21:00:00.000Z

I have recently picked up geocaching after having been given a GPS receiver. I have gone on a couple caching outtings on my own and this afternoon Matt and I decided to go together. It was a beautiful day but very muddy because of all the rain yesterday. We found both caches we set out to find and got to see some very pretty countryside. Now we can't wait to do it again!

Christmas Tree

2006-11-26T21:19:00.000Z

Yesterday we decided it was time to buy a Christmas tree and ornaments. We spent the day shopping and then came home and set it up. For some reason, we decided on a white and silver theme. It looks really nice, the picture here does not do it justice. It is our first tree so I'm really excited. Now I have to wait for the presents to put under the tree! Is it Christmas yet?????

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T20:55:00.000Z

In trying to keep some of the American traditions I have grown used to, I decided I was gonna celebrate Thanksgiving the right way. Even if it was just Matt and I. I planned the meal a couple weeks ago and shopped for the ingredients on Monday. I was able to find canned pumpkin puree so I didn't have to make that from scratch, which would have been pretty difficult since pumpkins are not easy to find here, at least not edible ones.

After going on a failed mission to find a glass pie plate and a simple white tablecloth, I came home around noon and started to cook the meal. First the pie, a Toffee Pecan Pumpkin Pie. That took a while. After I put the pie in the oven I went out again to look for a tablecloth one last time. I didn't find what I was looking for so I had to settle for what they had.

I came back home and got to cooking again. I spent the entire afternoon in the kitchen. I must have washed pots and pans at least 3 times. That's a first, I hate doing the dishes. The meal wasn't difficult to make, just really time consuming. Just when I thought I had gotten away without cutting myself with a knife, I ran my right pinky finger over the blade of the knife I was carrying to the table to cut the pie with. It wasn't deep though, it could have been worse. The table was set and we were ready to eat a roasted turkey breast, mashed potatoes, stuffing made scratch, green beans with bacon, cranberry sauce and the pie. The table looked like this:

We gave thanks then ate. After having slaved in the kitchen for hours, the meal was devoured in 15 minutes. I guess that's the nature of the beast. The food was great, specially for my first time. The pie was really good and Matt loved everything. I'm happy with how things turned out. This is what the table looked like after we were done:

Over The Edge

2006-11-14T18:33:00.000Z

No matter what the past was like, there comes a time in every woman's (and I imagine men's) life when the circumstances get the better of her. We fight it and pretend it's not there but then, all of a sudden, triggered by the stupidest, most unexpected thing, your world comes crashing down on you and you lose it. You are suddenly flooded with thoughts you wouldn't normally have and feel guilty for even entertaining those ideas. In the blink of an eye, you give up and decide to take the chicken way out.

A little while goes by (maybe days....maybe hours) and you think to yourself, "Wait a minute, what the f**k was that???" Then things don't seem as grim as they did before and you get confused all over again. You realize you have just had a breakdown and you didn't see it coming. I used to think differently but, there is no shame in asking for help. It doesn't make you weak nor does it make you crazy. Realizing you need help, and asking for it, is the hardest step.

High On Heels

2006-11-09T15:17:00.000Z

I am a self proclaimed shoe whore. It all started at the tender age of 12 when my father sent me a pretty pair of black patent leather flats from the US. They were probably not very expensive but I was still in Cuba then so they looked like they were. I wore those shoes whenever I got the chance. They were of course, reserved for special occasions but I just couldn't get enough of them. My next shoe love was a pair of cowboy boots that a friend of one of my mom's friend had. I'd just look at them and drool. I longed for those boots and I swore that when I moved to the US, I'd wear cowboy boots all the time. Ironically, I don't own a pair of cowboy boots and I never have to this date.

When I moved to the US, I was only 14 so I couldn't afford to by myself shoes. I got my parents to buy me a pair here and there but it wasn't much. As I got older, I started getting my mom to buy me more and more. They were pretty inexpensive at this point. The true shoe love affair started when I joined the Navy and could afford to buy my own shoes, when I wanted, however many I wanted.

I don't know which pair came first but all I know is that somehow, I have ended up with hundreds of pairs of shoes, boots, flip flops, etc. They are not all expensive, some are quite cheap. Luckily for me, I like all shoes, cheap and expensive. Price is not an issue. If I see a pair of Payless shoes I like, I buy them. However, lately, I have been lusting after an expensive pair of shoes. They are just gorgeous. They are classy yet sexy. They are sophisticated. I fantasize about them and it feels like I can only imagine a shoe induced foot orgasm would feel like. The price tag (my husband really) is what has kept me from turning this fantasy into reality. I dream of the day I see them on my feet.

I can only imagine how a pair of shoes like this would make a girl feel. I'd walk down the street like I'm the queen of the world. Just flaunting my Manolos, pretending like they are an everyday occurrence for me, like it's no big deal. So, while I keep dreaming about these beauties, let's all hail the Shoe God, the Almighty Manolo Blahnik.

You're Smoking Baby!

2006-10-22T13:08:00.000+01:00

What you see above is what happens when you, by accident, microwave a half loaf of ciabatta for 10 minutes instead of baking it for 10 minutes.......and you put the metal grill in the microwave too. Just for clarification, our microwave is also a convection oven. Last night, well, this morning, at about 2 am, I had the munchies and badly. I'm still jet lagged so I was awake. I decided that I would bake the half ciabatta and eat the rest of my prosciutto. I put the metal grill in the microwave and the bread on top of the grill like I always do. I pushed the button and set the timer for 10 minutes and walked away.

I laid down on the bed reading a magazine and about 8 minutes in, I smell the bread. I thought it was odd because I had never smelled it like that before. A few seconds later, it got stronger so I decided to get up and check on it.

I opened the bedroom door and all I could see was a cloud of smoke. I held my breath and walked into the kitchen, opened the microwave door and yelled for Matt to come open the window, which I can't reach. There was so much smoke in the kitchen that I couldn't even see the palm of my hands. The scary thing is that the smoke alarm, which had brand new batteries installed yesterday, didn't even flinch.

We opened all the doors and windows and turned on the kitchen extractor. We had to leave the flat and step out into the hallway because the air in the flat was just unbreathable. Thank God we are the only ones on this floor and probably the building this weekend because we weren't exactly dressed for the public.

When the smoke cleared, pun intended, we went back into the kitchen to try to figure out what had gone wrong. Well, turns out that instead of hitting the oven button and setting the temperature, I had just microwaved the bread. To make matters worse, I had done all this with the metal grill in the microwave. This was a VERY lucky escape. If I had waited any longer to check on the bread, it would have caught fire. Even luckier was the fact that the metal grill did not touch the sides of the microwave, which is also metal or it would have blown up.

We had to leave the windows and doors open all night so the smoke would fully clear but now the place stinks of smoke, specially the kitchen. I feel like a total idiot. I have baked that bread in there many times and never made this stupid mistake. I guess mistakes happen when you have gotten used to a certain situation and don't even think about what you're doing but operate in automatic. Live and learn.

Weight Gain Distribution (Back In The UK)

2006-10-20T22:24:00.000+01:00

After a long, sleepless, red eye flight, we arrived in the UK yesterday morning. Leaving Miami was a nightmare! While packing, and after buying tons of scrapbooking stuff, I was worried we weren't going to be able to fit everything in our two suitcases. We were able to do so and we thought we'd be fine.

When we arrived at the check in area, the guy tagging the carry on luggage picked up my Pelican case, which is full of my photo equipment, and told me it was too heavy to carry on the plane with me and I'd have to check it. Come again???. I explained to him what the contents were and how I would really appreciate it if I could just bring it on the cabin with me. He said I'd have to talk to the supervisor and I did. The supervisor was actually a nice guy. He gave me a little bag so I could put some of my gear in there to take some weight of the Pelican case until I got to the plane. All was good, or so we thought.

Next we had to actually check in. We handed the passport to the check in guy and proceeded to put the check luggage on the scale. Surprise!!!! My bag was about 15 kg over the maximum limit. We offered to pay extra for it but were informed that it's not about excess luggage but about the fact that Heathrow refuses to accept any piece of luggage over 30 kg. There was nothing but a few magazines I could leave behind so I was stressing a bit. We were offered a duffelbag for the oh-so-low price of $30 to put the excess weight in there. Matt's bag was also about 8 kg over the limit so we put some of his stuff there too. They would only take cash and we didn't have any. Luckily, my mom was still there and gave us the money. I was pretty upset about this whole situation because I had gone on 3 other flights with that Pelican case and multiple flights with that airline with heavy luggage and never had any problems whatsoever. This was the first time they even thought of gauging the weight of my carry on.

I realize the carry on weight limit is there for a reason but I think exceptions should be made on a case by case basis. For starters, the flight was nearly empty so it wasn't a case of lots of people with lots of carry ons. Second, with thousands of dollars worth of equipment, I think most people would have second thoughts about checking the bag in. Airlines do not take responsibility for photographic equipment amongst other things so if the bag should be lost, they'd wash their hands clean and would have no responsibility whatsover as far as the law is concerned. Even though I have insurance, that is a risk I am just not willing to take. OK, off the soap box now.

Miami

2006-10-05T13:49:00.000+01:00

I arrived in Florida last night after a long, bumpy flight. I wasn't too tired but as soon as I took a shower and put my head on the pillow, I was out. It was weird to sleep on such a big bed by myself. I have been awake since 6am here and it's now 8:45am....damn yet lag. I kinda, well, not really kinda, I miss Matt....and apparently, he misses me too. It hasn't even been 48 hours since I left home and he has already booked a flight to come here next Wednesday! LOL That's what love does to you!

Parties and Ornaments

2006-10-01T19:53:00.000+01:00

I haven't posted in a week but there hasn't been much excitement. Yesterday, we went to a get together with other American ex-pats. We had a nice lunch at a pub in Gerrards Cross. We talked, drank, and just had fun. After that, Matt and I went to a friend's birthday party. That was a lot of fun too, specially the party games!

Now I am getting ready for my trip to the US. We went to Harrods today to buy two Christmas tree ornaments for my parents. I wanted something that was obviously British. They had a lot of cheesy stuff but we did find something not so cheesy in the proper Christmas department, not the souvenir area. It's a green ball with the Union Jack and images of different London landmarks painted on. It wasn't cheap but I like it, and I hope they will too.

Dining Room

2006-09-24T21:37:00.000+01:00

We spent yesterday evening and a little bit of this morning building our new furniture, which included the dining room as well as a coffee table for the living room. I am really happy with the result, it is what I had envisioned. We will get at least one more pair of chairs in the near future but for now 4 is good. It looks good and I am really excited that we now have a fully furnished house, ready for entertaining! Now, if only Ikea sold friends....

Now You See It.........Now You Don't

2006-09-22T23:19:00.000+01:00

What a day! Today I got fed up with not having a proper dining room set. I was tired of eating on a garden table and chair set. I'd had enough. I took a little trip to Ikea and solved that problem right up. They couldn't deliver today so they are delivering tomorrow, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise since I would need more than a couple of hours to get the dining room ready for a real table.

You probably don't know this, mostly because I am ashamed of it myself, but our dining room was a mess. We have been living in this apartment for 4 months but I still had heaps of boxes in the dining room, full of junk. It was a real mess, even for me. So, I got home and I started tidying up. I thought it would take me a couple of hours but it actually took me close to 6 hours, including mopping. It was insane and I am exhausted but man, it was worth it.

The dining room went from this:

To this:

I am no longer ashamed of the way my house looks, which incidentally, was another deciding factor in the matter. Matt's parents are stopping by tomorrow morning and I couldn't let them see the pigsty that this place used to be. Now I can't wait to build the new dining room set!

New Couch!!!

2006-09-19T16:07:00.000+01:00

After months of waiting and sitting on Ikea chairs, our couch and chairs got delivered today! We ordered them at the beginning of July and they took this long to come. Now all we need is to get a dining room set, decorate a little and we'll be set. This place is finally starting to look like a home!

Gone And Done It

2006-09-14T23:35:00.000+01:00

So, after chickening out last time, today I gathered to courage to show up at a UK-Yankee get together. I don't know what was holding me back, it wasn't bad! I suppose it was the fact that I am pretty shy or maybe that I don't really drink, who knows. The thing is, I keep saying how I am bored out of my mind and I need to get out and meet people, but when the moment of truth comes, I change my mind. It's just one of those mind games we play with ourselves, we complain about our situation but don't do anything to improve it. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't. Well, at least now I can say that I did something. I had a good time, it was nice to get out of the house for once. Maybe I'll even go to the next one!

Where Were You?

2006-09-11T23:29:00.000+01:00

My husband came home from work and asked me "Do you remember where you were on September 11th 5 years ago?"

I do remember, I remember every bit. I was in Hospital Corps School in Great Lakes, Illinois. We were in class when one of our other instructors came in and told us "New York City is being attacked" as he turned the classroom TV on. We watch as the first tower burned, then, in horror, we watched as the second plane. A little while later, we watched as the towers collapsed, first one and then the other. We were stunned.

Then came the craziness. Those who had family in NYC were allowed to call them. Speculations were abundant, all the way from "we are going to war" to "oh god, they are going to bomb the school house". The reasoning behind that last statement was that they figured if someone wanted to weaken the forces, they would go for the medical personnel first and since we were in the spot where said personnel was trained, they'd go for us next. The fact that the school house was round and had a big red cross painted on the roof, made us a bull's eye. I suppose we were just scared and naive and at that point, anything was possible in our minds.

After all the craziness settled a bit, class resumed but we finished early cause no one could really concentrate and we were glued to the TV anyway.

I suppose that is a day that most of us remember quite well. Where we were, what we were doing, what went through our heads. Who could ever forget?

Strawberries and Lies

2006-09-05T22:52:00.000+01:00

A couple of days ago we decided to drive by the pick-your-own farm just a few minutes away from here. They had strawberries but it was just too hot to be in the field. I decided to go back today and get some fruit. It was overcast but I decided to risk it and headed out. As soon as I set a foot on the field it cleared up and the sun came out. It was hot and I was wearing jeans, not a good combination. I picked a small basket full, but quite honestly, I think I ate half as much while picking. They bigger ones were alright but the smaller strawberries were deliciously sweet, like I hadn't had in a long time.

Walking on the field felt a bit funny, I am a self proclaimed city girl and I kinda felt like I was cheating. It also reminded me of the funny way things work out sometimes. In Cuba, during the 7th, 8th and 9th grades the schools takes the kids to the country to work in the fields for about a month. I went when I was in the 8th grade and I didn't really wanna work. Now, twelve years later, there I was, walking into a field of my own free will. There was no one telling me I had to. There was no feeling of discontent or anything of the like. It was just me, just a girl exercising her right to pick her own strawberries just because SHE wants to. Call me a nut, but that's how it felt.

On a different note, I was reading the forums of a website I frequent when I saw this link. I had a look and I was amazed at how much work went into enhancing these images. Really impressive. Then I saw the one of Heidi Klum. I was blown away, I was in shock, I was in awe. Who the heck needs plastic surgery when you have digital retouchers like that??? I is incredibly misleading to have women like this in magazines. It is portraying something that doesn't really exists. They are making an average woman into something most of us will never be and then selling it as being the real thing. The before and after images are the sort of thing that needs to be shown to bullimic and anorexic girls all over the world so that they realize that those models are not real and that women don't' really look like that. This is a very sad situation in my eyes but I guess it pays their bills. Well, at least it makes ME feel a lot better to know that Heidi Klum has saggy boobs.

New Prada Glasses Baby!

2006-08-30T13:32:00.000+01:00

The day before yesterday, Matt and I took a little trip to a craft store and stopped at his favorite chocolate shop while we were there. In the same mall as Hotel Chocolat, there is an eye clinic and I decided to go in just for the heck of it since I had been looking at getting new glasses for months but could not seem to find anything that I liked. Well, I tried on a pair of Prada glasses and I ended up buying them. Not cheap but they were the best of what I had tried on before (although now I am having second thoughts).

So, they needed to be picked up so I drove there all by myself yesterday. I went on the highway for the first time here all on my own. It was a bit scary at first but then I really got into it. I had a VERY close call at a round about but the guy managed to stop before he hit me, just inches from my side of the car. Scary to say the least.

So, I got the new glasses and now I think I look dorky cause they are too big. I keep comparing them to the ones I lost because I really, really liked them and I just want to kick my self for losing them. That was back in February and it has taken me this long to decide on a new pair. I am still not sold on these but it's too late now so I'll just have to suck it up.

Blast From The Past

2006-08-27T22:55:00.000+01:00

A few days ago, I was looking as someone's blog the other day and she was talking about a game I used to play when I was in my early teens and loved...."Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?". Apparently she had downloaded it free and also downloaded a DOS program to run it in. Well, I got her to tell me where to get it from and I've been playing it every day since then. I am now an Investigator and I gotta say, the promotion questions are not easy! Thank goodness for Google though. This makes me think, what did kids ever do back in the 80's when there was NO Google??? You mean to tell me they actually looked at books??? THE HORROR!!!!

Grammar Check Anyone?

2006-08-21T20:24:00.000+01:00

I have been reading my old blog entries and I have noticed a lot of grammar errors. It's not a case of me not knowing how to use the terms, it's just me not being careful. The errors happened mostly in entries that were emotionally charged, entries like "The End Of The Affair" , "It's Not Goodbye", etc. I poured my heart and soul into those entries and didn't really pay attention to the grammar. I was too worried about expressing the right feelings, the right emotions. If this is any indication of my behavior when I am emotionally engaged in an argument then I must come across as a very uneducated person. This raises one question in my head, do we get sloppy when get emotionally involved? Could that be the cause of so many failed relationships out there? OK, two questions.

London GTG 8

2006-08-20T22:57:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was the 8th DPC London GTG. Man was it a long day! We had lunch at a Thai restaurant on The Strand. It was a decent place. Then we walked around the Temple area. All but one gate into the Middle Temple was closed so we had to take a big detour to get it. After that walk was done, we headed to the London Eye from Holborn. It was a long walk but there were lots of photo ops. I was dead by the time I got home at 9:30pm or so and then had to get up at 8:30am today because I had a client meeting at 11am two hours away. When we got back home, we just laid in bed for a couple hours. I think we are recovering now! The rest of the GTG pics can be seen here: London GTG 8

Good Pie, Wrong City

2006-08-17T18:16:00.000+01:00

A couple of days ago I saw an apple pie recipe on a magazine and I really wanted to make it. I hard a hard time finding the premade pastry and I'd be damned if I made it from scratch! I finally baked the pie today. It looks SO good! It took a while to make though, I knew there was a reason I didn't bake pies! It's still warm but now I have to wait till Matt gets home to eat dinner and have pie. He better enjoy this one because I don't bake often!

On a different note, according to a quiz I took, I live in the wrong city. Apparently I belong in Rome, not London. Maybe I'll move there and my life will be less boring!

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart

Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome

Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand

And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong In?

Betty Crocker, My Friend

2006-08-15T22:50:00.000+01:00

A couple hours ago, while grocery shopping, I came across a box of Betty Crocker pancake mix. I thought, "I must have pancakes!" So, I came home and got right down to business. I made 4 huge pancakes, two for me and two for matt. I ended up only eating about one because I wasn't really hungry, it was more of a craving. I needed a little comfort food. Isn't my live exciting??

Off to Wales, Both, Me and My Passport

2006-08-11T12:16:00.000+01:00

Today we went to the local DVLA (Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency) to apply for my provisional license based on my US license. They took my passport and it has to be sent to Swansea, Wales along with my application. Now I am a bit uneasy because I am traveling to the US for a wedding I have hired to shoot in October and I'm worried something might happen to my passport. If all goes well, I should have it back within 6 weeks, but if it gets lost? It would take a long time to get a new passport and a new UK visa. I'd hate to think what I'd have to tell the bride! Well, we'll see what happens with that.

I am off to Wales too, but I will be back on Sunday, much sooner than my passport ;) I am going on a photo course that will hopefully help me run my business better. I'm looking forward to it but I am going in with an open mind, I don't want to be disappointed.

Serendipity

2006-08-09T21:31:00.000+01:00

A few days ago I decided to look at my high school's website to see if there was anything there about my 10 year reunion in 3 years, I was just curious. There was nothing about the reunion so I decided to look a the alumni from my graduating year to see if I recognized anybody; I didn't. Then I decided to look at the rest of the years I was there in I found my best friend from high school whom I haven't seen in over 5 years. My heart skipped a beat. I got her email address and sent her an email. For days I kept checking my inbox to see if she had replied but nothing. I was starting to think she's never reply. Then today, bam!, there's an email from her.

She gave me her phone number and I called her. We talked just for a little while because she was at work but that was enough to make all the memories to come rushing back into my head. It's amazing how long 11 years really is, but I still remember when we met. Amazingly enough, I was a freshman and she was a senior, not your usual best friend combo. For a long time we were like sisters and she knew everything I did and I knew everything she did (sometimes more that I had bargained for). Even after she graduated we remained close friends for years. As with most friendships, we grew apart, not because we wanted it that way but because there was such an age difference between us. Four years seem like nothing now but in your teens, 4 years is a lot. When I was 17 or so she got married and moved away. We saw each other occasionally but not like before. Then, when I was 19, I joined the Navy and moved away and I hadn't seen her or heard from her since then. My mom lost contact with her too and I have been trying to find her for a while with no luck, till now. It was pure serendipity this time, I guess this is when it was meant to happen. I haven't had a close friend like that since her and I am really glad that I found her again. Maybe we can pick up where we left off, maybe we'll have to work on it to get back to the way it used to be, either way I'm prepared to give it a go, even if we do live oceans apart.

New PC, New Client

2006-08-04T23:53:00.000+01:00

Today's been a good day. I am slowly but surely setting up the computer Matt built for me last night. 1.5 TB RAID5 hard drive set up, 2 Ghz dual core CPU, 2 GB of RAM, I'm loving it. It's SO fast, specially compared to the laptop I had been using for months. Everything runs so smoothly. I think I am in love.

I had a client meeting, my first official one, that I think went quite well. They will be mailing the contract with the retainer tomorrow morning. This is a wedding at a beautiful venue and they will have fireworks at night so that should produce some nice images. Did I mention I love my new computer?

Oh Brother Where Art Thou? (or, Is Castro Dead?)

2006-08-02T23:37:00.000+01:00

This afternoon I was on the tube on my way to get some camera gear when a man sat in front of me holding a newspaper with the headline "Ailing Castro Gives Power To Brother" My heart skipped a beat and I asked the man if I could borrow the newspaper while as I grabbed it from his hands. He looked at me in shock and I said "I'm Cuban" He let out a sight of relief, as in "thank god she's not some psycho!" As I read the first few lines, my heart sank, ".....at least temporarily", said the article. I didn't read any further, I was disappointed, I guess I was expecting some more radical.

I called my mom in Florida as soon as I got above ground. Apparently there is a big commotion and Castro's health is "a matter of national security" according to the Cuban government. There are all sorts of speculations and conspiracy theories based on the facts that don't add up. One of the those "facts" is that according to the Cuban press, Castro signed the document giving power to his brother right after coming out of surgery for a gastric ulcer. That is very unlikely, people coming out of surgery are not normally coherent enough to talk much less to sign such document. According to my family in Cuba, there's cops all over the place in case riots break out. Some people think the Cuban government is giving the Cuban people time to come to terms with life without Castro before they drop the bomb. Some think said bomb is that he is in fact dead or at least very sick and close dying. Like millions of other people, I cannot wait to see what comes out of this.

Almost Alive Again

2006-07-31T23:29:00.000+01:00

I am just barely recovered from Saturday's wedding. It was just exhausting beyond belief. Even the couple 14+ hour weddings don't even compare. By the end of the night I was fatigued and downright ready to collapse that I was going to swear off wedding photography for good! LOL But who was I kidding, I like it too much. I did, however, come to the conclusion that 12 hours is my limit. I cannot shoot for more than 12 hours and be coherent and functioning. I will never book a wedding longer than 12 hours unless I am being paid big money. Lesson learned.

Baby Bye Bye Bye

2006-07-26T23:11:00.000+01:00

I was just by chance reading the news on MSN, which I don't normally do and a headline caught my eye : "Bass: I'm gay". Bass refers to Lance Bass, member of 'N SYNC and former love of mine, if only in my mind. In their heyday, while I was still in my teens, I was so in love with this guy. Nevermind Justin or JC, Lance was my guy. I went to an 'N SYNC concert (please don't flame me, I was young and easily influenced!!!) just to see him, even if it was from the nosebleed seats. I admit that I didn't like many of their songs, but I still bought the album because he was in it. They were just hot and I was a fan. Now, some odd years later, I am ashamed to admit this because I don't see how I could have been so blinded by their bad music and Lance's devastatingly good looks, but I was. Then again, so were millions of other girls who I'm sure feel the same way now.

I was very surprised when I read the article, I would have never in a million years thought he was gay. I just didn't see it, not then, not now. It's just one of those teenage fantasies where the bubble has been burst. It's like saying goodbye to a fantasy world you always knew you'd never reach. Now I know how women felt when George Michael came out. I wonder if young teenage and preteen girls nowadays have even heard of 'N SYNC.

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=228739&GT1=7703

Walks and Thoughts

2006-07-25T23:10:00.000+01:00

This morning when Matt left for work, I decided I'd get up early (for me) and go on a walk. I had been meaning to do it for a while but it's just been so hot lately that I just don't want to get dressed at all. Today was no different, by the time I got home at 1pm I was sticking to my clothes. If I didn't know any better I'd say we are in the tropics somewhere and not in cold, rainy England. This heat really makes it difficult to do anything, inside or out. I just want to sit by the fan all day.

On the way to the walk meeting point, I started thinking about my friends when I was growing up in Cuba. How much fun we had! I kept fantasizing about the day I'd be reunited with my best friend Yunitsa. I can imagine us looking at each other and just going in for a big hug and not wanting to let go. We haven't seen each other in almost 11 years but we have spoken on the phone and I know for a fact she can't wait to see me again. For one reason or another, I couldn't actually see her when I was in Cuba last, which really got me down because I so wanted to reminiscence. This got me thinking that I want to go back this year. This time I want to travel more and do more touristy stuff. I don't really know what got me thinking about this in the first place, but now I can't wait visit Cuba, so much so, that I started looking up flight fares as soon as I got home.

Goodbye

2006-07-23T22:40:00.000+01:00

Sometimes, when you least expect it, a bunch of strangers come into your life and just creep in, without you realizing it. They make you laugh, they make you cry, the keep you entertained and they give you something to look forward to. They charm you and make you simply beg for more. You can't get enough of them. You can't wait to see what they do next, who they fall in love with, who they win over. You live every love affair with them, every up, every down, every moment of joy and every moment of anger, of pain and it makes you believe that you know them. You know that sooner or later they will go away and you can't really stop them. Then, after 8 years of living with them, poof, they are gone, forever. It breaks your heart and you can't help but let the tears roll down your cheeks and then you think..."hold on a minute, that was just a tv show!"

Today I finished the last episode of the season 8, the last season, of Charmed and boy it wasn't easy! It's really sad but that is it! I am not a tv freak by any means and this is the only show that I have ever been this attached to and it's really sad to think that was the end. Am I the only one that feels this way about a tv show? Am I really that sad and pathetic? I can't be the only one!

A Little Bit Older, A Whole Lot Wiser.

2006-07-20T23:46:00.000+01:00

I turned 25 today and quite honestly, I am having a hard time coming to terms with it. For the past few days I have been on this "I am 25 and I have nothing to show" mood. It is not that I don't like the life I have, I do, I am just not where I thought I would be at 25. There are lots of things I thought I'd have accomplished by 25 that are so far, nonexistent. I spent days driving myself crazy with all sorts of self-pity and unhappy thoughts, I think I was driving Matt crazy too. Last, just after midnight, it was terrible. I just broke down. I finally went to sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, but not much. Matt was working and all my family is in the US so I spent my birthday alone, which only made matter worse. I felt lonely and even abandoned (I can be a bit of a drama queen) and I kept wishing I had some friends to celebrate with, or at least someone I could bitch about getting older at.

I was to meet Matt for dinner and as I was putting my make up on, I looked in the mirror and realized that yes, I may be 25, but I do not feel 25, and if I was going to get older, I would do it gracefully. So I put on some 4 inch heels, a shirt that shows a bit too much cleavage, some Chanel No. 5, packed a brand new handbag and strutted to the tube station. As weird as it may sound, I did feel better and empowered. I got to the restaurant where Matt was waiting with a beautiful flower bouquet and a card that said I was turning 21 (isn't he sweet???). We had a nice steak meal and headed home.

Today was a tough day for me, but tomorrow will be a brand new day and life goes on, 25 or not.

Almost Christmas

2006-07-16T22:20:00.000+01:00

Thanks to my persuation skills (not really), I did get my birthday present just after midnight last night (this morning rather). Turns out I knew what it was all along, a shiny white iPod Nano :D I had been eyeing these for a while so I'm glad I got one now. I hooked it up to my computer right away and had to force myself to go to bed at 2am or so.

Today was the day we got together to celebrate all 4 birthdays, Matt's dad's, Matt's, mine and Matt's brother's because they all happen in the span of a month. We met up a nice pub/restaurant and had a very nice meal. After that we went back to Matt's parents' house and gave each other presents. It's like Christmas in July. I got seasons 4, 5, and 6 of Sex and the City and a handheld reflector I had asked for. Now I don't need an assistant to hold the reflector for me! It also means that now I get to buy toys I didn't get!

Not Much Excitement

2006-07-15T23:38:00.000+01:00

I haven't really been doing much in the past few days. I called a couple bridal shops yesterday about leaving some promo material there and one of them said OK so I dropped it off today. Then I made Matt help me make some sense of the office/second bedroom which was a mess. Now most things are in their places on my desk. I had been wanting to get my studio set out and up to practice a little now that we have no furniture and have enough room. I was bored today so I made Matt help me bring it up from the garage. It took us a while to set it up so we didn't actually get many pictures done. I will try again tomorrow when we are dressed properly. I get my next birthday present tomorrow, in 23 minutes if I'm lucky! LOL So I am going to stay up a little while longer.

We saw the Pirates of the Caribbean last night, finally. It was a good movie but I think the real reason we wanted to see it was because we visited the Port Royal set when we were in St Vincent in April. Seeing the movie was like being there all over again. We recognized the bay, the set, the mountains, everything...Except for the communications tower they cloned out LOL. It wasn't a bad movie, an while I will not give out any spoilers, I will say that it is VERY obvious there will be a 3rd installment.

Excuse Me, I Have Breasts.

2006-07-12T22:35:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I wonder if the designers of things like camera bags every think of women when they come up with their bags. I wanted to go on a walk in Hampstead today so I packed the brand spanking new camera bag Matt gave me yesterday. It is a sling bag, which in theory, is a great compromise between a backpack and a shoulder bag, except that they don't work for women, at least not for me, because women have.......are you ready for this???......breasts. No matter how I adjusted or arranged, the strap always came across my breasts, squishing them, deforming them and just making it completely uncomfortable. Is this a man's world or what??? I was really bummed because I really wanted this bag. This is not my first go at sling bags so I have decided that I have to stick to either a backpack or a shoulder bag, so much for comfort AND accessibility.

So, I packed my other bag, which is also the sling kind but has a thinner strap, and went ahead with my walk. It was a guided walk by the London Walks people. It was hot but it was a good walk. We stopped by the house of Judi Dench, Russell Crowe, and even Boy George amongst others. Hamsptead is a pretty and pleasant place, too bad we can't afford to live there.

Happy Birthday Honey!!!!

2006-07-11T21:59:00.000+01:00

I have never been a very patient person, and even less so when since I met Matt. Don't ask me why, I really don't know. Last year I forced him to give me my birthday present on HIS birthday, it took a lot of begging because my birthday wasn't till 9 days later, but in the end, he gave it to me. It turned out to be a gorgeous engagement ring and the question "will you marry me?" fast-forward to this month. Once again, I have been driving him nuts asking about my present, but what is worth, I have been trying to badger him into taking HIS present early! LOL. It didn't work, he made me wait till the actual day to give it to him. So, at 00:00 today, I finally handed him the box. I got him the mp3 player he wanted and he loved it.

Today, while he was at work (finally started working again) I got him a cake and some balloons. I set the cake up on the table and watched out for him. When I heard the downstairs door slam, I lit the candles and waited. He was surprised, he didn't see it coming since I can't keep surprises to myself.

We then decided that it would be funny to inhale some helium. We did and had a bit of fun, until I inhaled too much and nearly passed out due to the lack of oxygen. It is NOT a pleasant feeling and something I definitely won't do again. It's funny now but I was scared at the time! LOL

I did manage to get him to give me one of my presents today, a lovely camera bag that I had been wanting. Thanks babe!

Am I Dead?

2006-07-10T22:40:00.000+01:00

I meant to blog yesterday but when I remembered, it was way past midnight and I was very tired so I just went to sleep. I am still recovering from Saturday's wedding. It was a LONG day. I got picked up just after 7am and we were with the bride and groom for 15 hours. It was just exhausting and when i got home I just crashed. I was in pain all day yesterday, my entire body ached. I felt the sudden urge to scream every time I tried to stand up. I cannot believe how utterly draining that day was! Despite all that, it was a good day. The bride was gorgeous and I got many good shots that I can use for my website (http://www.jqhawkins.co.uk). The groom was also good looking which really helps. It was another Sikh wedding but this time it was the groom that was Sikh, the bride was Greek and they are having a full Greek wedding in Cyprus, where she is from. The more I shoot weddings the more I want to keep doing it. I really love it and even though it is very tiring and exhausting work, it is also rewarding and I am wishing with all my being that I make it in this business.

Short Women Don't Wear Pants.

2006-07-06T23:35:00.000+01:00

Well, at least that is the impression I get from the fashion industry. I went down to Oxford Street this evening because I needed to get a pair of trousers for a job this weekend. I spent the better part of 3 hours in and out of fitting rooms trying on more pants that I cared to count. Pant after pant, it was just complete failure. It seems like you have to be at least 5'11" to be allowed to wear pants, otherwise you are restricted to skirts, and even then, you have to get "mid length" skits just so that it goes all the way down to your ankles. It gets really annoying after a while. The only way I have ever been able to wear pants that are not jeans is by buying "regular" ones and then have them hemmed. I don't know about the other short people out there, but it is VERY inconvenient for me.

Test Drive

2006-07-05T20:22:00.000+01:00

Last night, just before we went to the store to get some Pepsi, just out of the blue, Matt asked me if I wanted to drive. At first I didn't think he was serious because up until now he's refused to let me drive because I am not insured to drive the car and only offered to let me drive once cause I was feeling pretty depressed and he wanted to cheer me up (we didn't actually go through with it). Well, this time I said yes and got in the car. It was a bit nerve-wrecking but we made it there and back in one piece. I drove again this morning to the post office where he took over. It wasn't any major but it's definitely a step closer. I hope to be driving on my own before the end of the year.

FBI Profiler

2006-07-03T22:32:00.000+01:00

Matt and I went to his bank today to make his account a joint account. They collected some documents from us and had him fill out a form, no big deal. I decided that since I was already there I might as well open an account for myself so I can use it for the business money. They collected documents again and have me fill out a 13 page application. Opening a bank account here is what I imagine an FBI interrogation to be like. The thing is, it wasn't even a credit card, just an account so that I can use MY money. I really don't understand why they make it so hard for people to open a checking or even a savings account. You'd think they'd be eager to take your money, right? Just one more nuisance.

I Shot The Bride...

2006-06-30T15:04:00.000+01:00

Last night I did my first ever bridal photo shoot, which happened to be the first time I photographer a bride on my own. Man was I nervous! The whole journey there I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest. When we got to Charing Cross station where we were supposed to meet the bride, I nearly turned around and went home but Matt wouldn't let me. LOL. I couldn't breathe, I was that nervous.

I was pretty tense at first but eventually we all relaxed a bit and I was having fun. We didn't actually plan much for this session so we were making up as we went but it turned out great. I am processing the pictures now and I think I did pretty good, specially for my first time. I have to say, however, that if it hadn't been for Matt, I just could not have done the shoot. He was great. He carried my camera gear, my tripod, the bride's bag and the bag the dress was in. On top of that, he helped me set up shots and gave me ideas for shots. I think I'll be bringing him along to every wedding I do! We got home pretty late because we were shooting up to 11:00 pm. It was a great experience and I got some nice shots so it's all good.

Love and Bowling

2006-06-25T23:09:00.000+01:00

I assisted on a wedding on Friday, it was a LONG day. I got picked up at 7:20 am or so and didn't return until after 11 pm. We got to the bride's house and we asked to have breakfast. It was an Indian wedding so they kept wanting to feed us all day. The Sikh ceremony was in the morning at the bride's house followed by a catholic ceremony in the afternoon. It was all food, all day. We had some really good lamb with potatoes and broccoli for dinner and by the end of the night, I was exhausted. It was lots of fun though and I really can't wait to start shooting my own weddings. I really like this so far and I hope that it works out for me. I just love being a part of such a special day. A wedding is just beautiful and it really makes me me smile. The couple of weddings I have assisted so far, I have found myself smiling like an idiot during the ceremony. It reminds me of my own wedding and just puts me on a great mood.

Last night we decided to go see "Over The Hedge". We got to the movie theatre over half an hour before the movie was supposed to start so I dragged Matt next door to the bowling center for a game. Damn I suck! I guess I just need practice. We decided we should do it again because it's fun. The movie was really funny, I think I'll definitely buy it when it comes out on DVD.

Out And About

2006-06-22T20:59:00.000+01:00

Last night we went to a get together for wedding photographers in London. It was good. We met at one of the studios for drinks first. I was a bit uncomfortable at first because I didn't know anyone and being so new, I didn't think I had anything to contribute. Thankfully two of the guys there grabbed me by the hand and dragged me around the place introducing me to people. Then it got fun. After drinks we went for dinner, where I had the best burger I've had in the UK so far. It was good to get out and meet some new people.

In response to the comment on my last blog entry, I didn't say there was anything wrong with being that sort of woman, I just said that I never understood the practice and I don't agree with it. We are all different people with different values and different priorities, and to each their own. If you are happy with being that sort of mother and wife, then by all means do so, after all, it's about choice and you chose to take that route, the more power to you!

Shattered Dreams

2006-06-17T23:50:00.000+01:00

A little while ago, while searching for places to go to for New Year's Eve, I came to a very sad realization. I realized that I will never see my travel plans come true, I will never actually go on the round the world year long trip I had been planning for so many years. If I hadn't met Matt I'd be on that trip right now. I am happy that I met him but part of me sort of resents him for being the reason I am here and not "there". He still wants me to go ahead and do the trip at some point but it's just not the same. I guess for better or worse, my priorities have been changed.

I always disliked the sort of women that would martyrize themselves and put their dreams and aspirations on hold because of a husband or children. I never understood why they did it, why they would put themselves through such an unpleasant experience and live such frustrated lives. I always said I would never become one of them because I wouldn't lose my identity or my independence when I got married, but as you can see, things don't always work out as we want them to. Now I sit here, totally dependent on my husband with no money, no job, no friends, no dreams of my own, and quite frankly, it's freaking me out. I don't know how to handle this, I don't know how to make amends with myself. I don't want to live a frustrated life and most of all, I don't want to hurt my husband or grow to resent him beyond repair. I am just trying to refigure myself out.

When It Rains, It Pours.

2006-06-16T23:01:00.000+01:00

It seems like problems just come one right after the other. Matt is finally out of work because the company was just bullshitting them too much. He's back to job hunting and has only gotten paid 2 weeks out of the 4 he worked. There are not a lot of jobs out there right now so who knows how long it's gonna be till he finds another one. To make matters worse, our kitchen sink drain is backed up. The water from the washing machine backs up into the sink and it just doesn't drain. We tried everything we could to unblock it, liquids, hot water, unscrewed the U tube thing but nothing. The blockage is in the pipe outside the apartment. The landlord is not responsible for blocked drains so now we have to shell out money for a plumber and we really can't afford it We sill have no living or dining room furniture and the prognosis is not good. The rent is due tomorrow, luckily we have money for that, and then there are bills. This is very frustrating because I have never been in this situation before, not since I left home to join the Navy anyway. This lack of money and gainful employment makes me uneasy.

On a lighter note, I decided to drag Matt to the park this afternoon for a little while. We just sat down on a sarong under a tree and hung out for a bit. That didn't last long but it was refreshing, kinda got my mind off things. Next time I'll make it a picnic.

Chili's and Spite

2006-06-15T21:50:00.000+01:00

Today started out as a normal day, you know, woken up by the mail man, then woken up again by the Argos delivery guy, etc. After that I decided it just wasn't worth it to go back to sleep so I just lazed in bed for a little while, then got online. At about noon I decided I was starving and it just occurred me to that going to Chili's in Canary Wharf, an hour away, would be a great idea. So, I convinced Matt (didn't take much) and off we went. I had been craving a good steak for a while and we wanted to try the ribs to see if they were like the ones in the US (they are not). Man was it worth it! It was good steak. Not Ruth's Chris good but good nonetheless. I guess I was just craving some comfort food, a taste of home. This is all I have eaten today and I am still full. For some reason I got really tired after lunch and I just wasn't feeling good. When we got home I just went straight to bed and took a nap. I was feeling so weak that I had a hard time walking from the tube station to our home. The same thing happened the other day when we went to a kebob place. Very odd.

Matt was watching the show Top Gear earlier and they were talking about the movie The Italian Job, the remake. This show was shot before the movie came out (yes, it's that old) and they were just insulting Americans in general. This isn't the first time I see this on British TV, there was some comedian or other doing the same a couple days ago. It bothers me because I have never seen British people being so blatantly insulted on American TV. I thought Americans were the ones supposed to be self centered and obnoxious but I guess Brits have become just that in their effort to constantly snub and patronize Americans. They have become exactly what they have been criticizing. This is just my opinion and I realize not all British people are the same, but it sure makes living amongst them a tad bit difficult.

If You Can't Handle The Heat....

2006-06-12T23:08:00.000+01:00

When I first moved here just over a month ago, I used to complain that it was so cold even though it was already May. I used to complain that it was always gray and rainy. It drove me nuts to not see the sun for over a week at a time and I prayed that it would clear up and the sun would shine again. Be careful what you ask for.....

The past few days have been pretty hot, but today especially. It was 28 Celsius/82 Fahrenheit but it was over 37 Celsius/100 Fahrenheit in the car. Just ridiculous. It was pretty hot, even for a Florida girl like me, but it's not so much about the heat but about the fact that there is no AC anywhere! I am used the heat, but I am used to the heat with nice air conditioning. The Brits' argument is that they don't need AC most of the time, and that's understandable but when they do need it, it would be nice to have, especially since most of them just can't cope with the heat. We went to meet a couple of friends for lunch and went to a kabab restaurant, no AC of course, the seats were made leather and I was wearing shorts. I sweat so much that by the time I got up to leave my ass was soaked and there was sweat all over the seat and running down my thighs....just disgusting. I don't know, but when it gets hot, it gets bloody hot, so just for those few days I'd get AC. It seems like there is just no middle ground, it's either cold or really hot, at least that's how it's been since I've lived here.

On a more positive note, I signed up for Weight Watchers on the UK site. I need to shed these pounds I've put back on and WW worked for me so I am getting back in the game. This time I will do my best to make it to my original goal weight.

Crazy Day

2006-06-11T18:14:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I assisted a photographer during a wedding for the first time. I was pretty nervous because I didn't kow what to expect or what he expected of me but it turned out fine. I was at the location 10 minutes prior to the time I was told to be there at and he was half an hour late. We did a lot of running around moving the gear from the car and then chasing the bride and groom. No one seemed to know what the hell was going on and the bride kept changing her mind about whether she wanted pictures of her getting ready or not. When we were finally told to come up to her room, we knocked on her door for probably 5 minutes and on one answered. We came across her mom who got somebody to call her and tell her we were there. She told whoever she talked to "we are upstairs taking video". Of course, no one knew where "upstairs" was. Turns out it was on the second floor of her room.

We finally got inside and it was just pure mayhem. The photographer managed to get a couple pictures of her amidst all the craziness, then it was time to go to the ceremony, which didn't give us time to take the shots we wanted. Again, her fault, not ours. The ceremony started 15 minutes late and the room was half empty. People kept filtering in even while the recessional was going on. Incredible. Then we went to the courtyard to get some formals done, but only after hanging around the lobby for a good 15 minutes and having to literally pull the bride and groom outside. People would just not leave them alone. Even as the formals were being taken people kept walking up to the couple and wanting to talk. The bride wanted some shots around the hotel but that never happened because she also wanted a picture with EVERYONE at the wedding! We had assembled the lights before the ceremony for the inside formals and we didn't even use those. The photographer says that was one of the most disorganized weddings he's ever photographed. I went home at about 6:30pm.

Even though it was a crazy day, I enjoyed it. Now more than ever I want to get out there and shoot weddings. I love weddings and I want to help people remember theirs through great photography. This is the profession for me, no doubt.

Christmas in June

2006-06-09T23:01:00.000+01:00

One and half months, and almost $800 dollars later, we finally received the pallet with the wedding gifts today. It was like Christmas! It's nice to finally have proper pots and pans, utensils, silverware, plates, etc but if we had known it would this much to ship it we wouldn't have. Today we also received some stuff we bought online. We now have a vacuum cleaner, bookshelves and a medicine cabinet. The place is a mess with boxes and crap all over.....what else is new? I really can't wait until we get the apartment looking decent and buy furniture. This still doesn't feel like a home.

Wired Again

2006-06-06T22:11:00.000+01:00

After almost 3 weeks without internet at home, we are back up! Today Telewest connected our phone, cable tv and internet. Thank goodness. I was going stir crazy already. I mean, one thing is to just be a housewife and another is to be a housewife with no link to the outside world, no tv, no internet, no books, nothing. I had some bad days and one really bad day when I just cried all afternoon. I was homesick, I felt isolated and abandoned. Silly maybe but that goes to show you how isolation can take a toll on anyone.

Matt's job thing has been resolved and the contracts have been signed, they expect to get paid this week. As a result of said negotiations, he's off this whole week so we have been spending a lot of time together, mainly watching the seventh season of Charmed. He says he only watches it because it's entertaining and I watch it but I know he's addicted LOL.

I have decided to rename my photography business JQ Hawkins Photography, I am happy with that choice and it seems Brits like it better than Photos By June. My next task is to set up a website with a cheap template and some non wedding portfolio images until I have some wedding pictures to put up, then I'll invest in a proper web designer.

I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2006-06-02T11:38:00.000+01:00

Matt's work situation hasn't improved much. They have been fighting to get contracts signed for a while now so they can invoice the company and get paid. This is the end of his fourth week working there and still no money. Today they had enough and decided to stop working until the company sorts the contracts out. Right now they are encrypting all the data so the company can't access it. I still can't believe this entire situation. It is just ridiculous. Matt has his agents looking for another job, hopefully this will work out.

To make matters worse, the crate that we sent from Florida with all the wedding gifts, etc is gonna cost us probably another $400 to receive. Stupid paperwork fees, fees for putting it through customs, then import duty if any, etc. If I had known this I wouldn't have registered for gifts or sent the crate.

The rent payment is coming up on the 17th and the water bill for the entire year has arrived. Expenses just keep mounting up and we have no income. I've applied for a job but that was 2 days ago and I haven't heard anything from them. We have a huge credit card bill that keeps getting bigger by the day. I really don't know what we are going to do, I am starting to freak out a bit. I know what they say, but, do all bad things really come to and end???

I Got The Blues....

2006-05-26T15:35:00.000+01:00

Not much has changed since my last post. I was really homesick/down the day before yeterday. I was just having an off day. I was bored out of my mind with no one to talk to, no family, no friends, nothing. I realized that it wasn't so much not knowing anyone that was getting to me but the fact that I have become so dependent on Matt for everything.f

I am not familiar with my surroundings, I can't drive, I can't do much for myself and THAT is driving me insane. I have lost my independence in way I never thought I would. I know that once I get settled in and get familiar with the area, the customs, etc it will change but in the meantime I am miserable. I love Matt, I really do, but sometimes I wonder wether leaving everything behind and moving here was a good idea. I have done this many times before and I t think it sucks that I have to go through it yet again.

To top things off, the weather has been total crap. Just rain and more rain. It's really bringing me down! I know that I have to get out there and make friends but that has never been easy for me. How am I supposed to make friends exactly? I mean, you don't just walk up to people on the street and ask "Hi, do you want to be my friend???"

When The Going Gets Tough.....

2006-05-23T12:14:00.000+01:00

The last few days have been crazy to say the least. Friday evening we signed the lease for the flat and got the keys. We went to the flat to look around for a bit, turn the fridge on, etc. We were going to go to dinner next and then to Ikea to walk around the showroom and pick out a bed to pick it up the next day with the rented moving van. That was the plan anyway. Just after we got into the apartment Matt's phone rang. It was the last company he worked for. Turns out they had messed up terribly and Matt was the only person who could fix it. They offered to pay him big bucks if he came in that night. He did. This threw our next day's schedule totally out of whack so after getting a bed at Ikea and assembling, we didn't actually started packing up at the old place until late afternoon on Saturday. We did some more moving on Sunday as well. It took entirely too long but we sorta needed the money.

I called Matt today to ask him something or other and he says "Oh, by the way, the company doesn't have any money to pay anyone so chances are we won't get paid" Oh by the way???? WTF??? They are waiting till tomorrow to bring some investors in and persuade them to, well, invest, only then can they pay their employees. I was just beside myself! What sort of company takes on employees when they fully know they can't pay them??? Well, what it boils down to is that if these investors don't wanna fork over the cash, Matt, and some others, just don't get paid for the work they've done so far. The thing is, without that money, we don't have enough to live on for the next month. I was completely speechless. I mean, we're not talking about a couple hundred pounds here, we are talking about several thousand pounds.....and that is just Matt's pay! He has started job hunting again today (he just found out too) and I think I just may have to do the same. This is just unbefreakinglivable.

As if life wasn't hard enough as it is, I am just going out of my mind at home all day with no internet, no tv, no anything. I don't know how much of this I can take. I don't even want to think about what's going to happen if Matt's company goes kaput. Ramen Noodles anyone???

Just When You Think....

2006-05-19T23:32:00.000+01:00

....you have SOME things figured out, you take another blow. This morning I was feeling a bit down to the fact that I have been actively persuing photography work for a while and I haven't been able to find anything so I thought I'd post a bit of a rant on a forum I frequent. I was so much ranting, what I was truly looking for was to hear other wedding photographers' start up stories, mostly for encouragement.

I mentioned that it has been a painfully slow process for me that sometimes I second guessed my decision to become a full time professional wedding photographer. It seems some people have a hard time remember how THEY started and admitting that at one point or another they too second guessed themselves.

Then somehow my business name came up. Photos By June. Apparently, according to my fellow UK photographers, sounds like a granny name, naff, and just inadequate. Some even went as far as saying that if they looking for a wedding photography, they'd stay away from any business named Photos By June. I am torn because I like the name but I also want to "fit in" They recommended I just use my name with Photography at the end, but to me that sounds very impersonal, I don't know why. I wanted a more intimate name, which is why I chose Photos By June. Then someone decided I should milk my Cuban heritage by incorporating it into my business name somehow. So now I am left with a domain name, a handful of people who I have given my photosbyjune.com email address and some shattered ideas. I am trying to come up with different names but I am not sure what I'll do in the end.

On a more positive note though, I have been "booked" for a wedding on September 16th! I am very excited about this and the bride sounds very nice. I hope this is just the first of many, many more to come. So, if you live in the UK and need a wedding photographer........I'm your woman! ;)

Rules Are Rules

2006-05-17T22:14:00.000+01:00

Today has just been "one of those days". Nothing tragic, nothing bad, just bizarre. It was all peachy until the afternoon when I returned from having had lunch with Matt. When I came home, I logged on to one of the sites that I usually frequent. Someone has posted a question about whether a specific procedure was allowed in the site or not. I responded in a very civilized way that it wasn't I even quoted the site rules, etc. But what do you know, someone goes on a tells this person that while it's not technically allowed, he should go ahead and break the rules because his intentions are pure. WTF??? Mind you, this is a site where we compete against each other in contests so breaking the rules isn't just breaking the rules, it's cheating.

Well, this thread evolved into much more than the original poster ever had intended. I obviously have very strong views on this cheating issue but what bothered me the most was that someone would actually say that it is OK even though you are fully conscious you are breaking the rules and cheating.

Then somehow I got sucked into another controversial subject. I really felt like a bitch after a while but these things just get to me. I need to learn to just let stuff like this bounce off. But then again, I have always been one to fight for what I believe in till the end.......which isn't always good.

Sore Mother's Day

2006-05-14T23:56:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was our UK wedding reception. I was actually a nice lunch with some of Matt's family and a couple of our friends. There were 14 of us so it was very small. At the beginning of the lunch, just before I sat down, I went to the restroom. All was well in there but I almost fell coming down the stairs. I was only on the second step from the top and somehow my legs just turned into Jell-O and bent forwards. My entire body went along with it but I managed to hold on to the railing with my left arm. If I had actually fallen, it would not have been pretty. The stairs were pretty steep and I was at the top, I would have at least broken a leg. Not a great start to any social event if you ask me. Luckily I didn't fall and no one saw it.

The rest of the day went great. We ate good food, drank good wine and just had a jolly good time, as the Brits would put it. After a very long lunch, it last well over 3 hours, we went to Matt's parents' house for some cake. The cake was very pretty. It was made by one of my mother in law's friends. It was white with blue ribbon around it. The icing was fondant and it had a picture frame made of sugar with a picture of us from the wedding in it. it also had a camera on tripod and a camera bag next to it, all made of sugar. It was very pretty. The only downside was that it was a fruitcake, which is traditional English wedding cake and I don't like fruitcake. Luckily, there was an alternative to it, a lovely sponge cake with jam filling.

This morning I woke up and I realized my right leg and my left shoulder blade were incredibly sore. So much so that it makes it very difficult to walk, not to mention going up or down steps. At first I couldn't figure out why I was sore and then I realized it is the aftermath of yesterday's stairs incident. I have been limping all day and Matt has had to carry me down some steps. While I do like the attention, I do not like the pain, it sucks.

It is Mother's Day in the US and I have been trying to call my mom all day and I haven't been able to get through. I just sent her an email, I hope she gets it today but i really doubt it.

This evening we met up with a couple of friends and two DPCers from Spain for a meal at a Chinese restaurant. We ate A LOT of food and had a good time, it's always nice to meet new people and to get out of the house and talk to someone other than Matt.

Score!!!

2006-05-11T22:49:00.000+01:00

After looking at several apartments, or flats as Matt would make me call them, and one false hope, we finally scored a place. The one I mentioned on my previous entry fell through but this place is even better, it is MUCH bigger. It is on the second floor (first European floor), the master bedroom is huge with big built in wardrobes, the second bedroom is decent sized for American standards which is big for UK standards. The kitchen is fairly big as well with brand new appliances, the fridge is hidden behind cabinet doors and the stovetop and oven are digital. The living room is huge too with what seems to be a working electric/gas fireplace. The right side of the living room is dominated by a huge glass window and the balcony is on the left. On the back side of the living room another space which would hold the dining room. We even have a decent sized private garden which WE are supposed to maintain......the horror!!!

Two things I have noticed about houses/flats/apartments in the UK are the bathroom and washer/dryer "issues". For some reason, a lot of places have a room for the toilet and a room for the bath/shower. They are almost always next to each other but still. All that is separating the two is a wall.....why not just take it down??? The purpose of this arrangement is beyond my comprehension.

The other thing is that most places have a washer.....but no dryer. What exactly am I supposed to do with a wet week's worth of laundry? Is it really that more complicated to install a dryer when you install the washer? Some places don't even have a balcony or anywhere else where you can string a line and hang dry your clothes, which by the way is not very good for your clothes. I guess it's all about what you are used to but it still doesn't make sense to me.

Tonight we have the deposit and we expect to get the keys and make it official next Friday. The place is unfurnished so we have to buy at least a bed before we can move in. It's been a good day :)

Short And Sweet

2006-05-05T23:22:00.000+01:00

So, the apartment hunting hasn't gone as good as I expected. We've seen a couple places that were nothing special. Today we saw one that looked great and I think it is the one we are gonna take. We are going to see another one tomorrow and then decide. Matt got the job and starts on Monday so that went great. Other than that, there is not much going on here.

Searching...

2006-05-02T23:52:00.000+01:00

I have spent the better part of the past few days either looking for apartments of designing the wedding album. The task that seemed the most difficult to accomplish is done......the albums are ready to be ordered. We can't afford to get them right now so I'll just have to wait a few weeks, maybe months to get them done.

Apartment hunting, however, isn't going so well. I have browsed through countless listings but nothing seems right. The places we can afford do not meet our minimum requirements and the ones that do we can't afford. It's a catch 22. I didn't realize did would be so difficult. The better places are either not close to a transport link at all of are on main railway lines as opposed to the underground and Matt doesn't want that. He says he'll consider it but I know deep down he really doesn't wanna have to use the railway for going to work, he prefers to be close to the tube. This isn't easy because being close to the tube pushes the prices up and we are on a somewhat strict budget.

Another thing that is holding us back is the amount of space we need. At first we thought we could do with a one bedroom place but we've concluded that it's just not possible. We have too much stuff to fit into a one bedroom apartment. So, technically, there are many places that are nice and we can afford but they are just not big enough for us. We've already seen one place that is just a few doors down from here but that was a dump. We are going to see another place tomorrow and I hope it goes well.

On a much better note, Matt had a job interview today and it went very well according to him. He thinks he's pretty much and that's very good because it is a VERY good paying job and we can definitely use the money. I'm crossing my fingers that he hears good news from them soon, otherwise it's back to job hunting and interviews for him.

Ah.....the joys of newlywed, newly relocated life! (sense the sarcasm???)

New Beginnings

2006-04-28T17:07:00.000+01:00

What a crazy past few days! I guess moving overseas is just not easy. We finally got the title transferred to my stepdad's name on Wednesday, but that was a freaking mission! On the same day, the people from PakMail picked up the crate with all the wedding gifts and some more of my stuff, it is supposed to arrive in London in 4-6 weeks.

Yesterday was an interesting day. I flew from Miami to London for good. I thought that since I had been living in Italy for the past two and half years and in DC for two years before that, that It would be easy to just leave again, but I was wrong. After kissing my family goodbye at the airport, I just bawled walking to the security line. Once on the plane, I started bawling again, which got Matt crying. I felt sad. I guess the reason I felt this way this time was because when I lived in Italy I know it was only temporary and that I'd be back in the US in just over two years, but it is more definite this time. I am here to stay and there is no telling when I'll live close to my family again, if ever.

I know that we all must make sacrifices in life, but that doesn't make the process any easier. This is the second time I move to a different country indefinitely, I was 14 the first time and I was simply following my parents. This time I am following my husband, and while I obviously love this man very much ( I moved half way across the world for him), I can't help but wonder if I made the right choice. After all, being realistic and all, a blood bond is very difficult to break but marriages do often fail. I don't want mine to fail and I am not going into this thinking that it will but.....what if it does? What do I do then? Yes, I am scared.

DMV

2006-04-26T02:20:00.000+01:00

Yesterday we went to Orlando to pick up my car. That went pretty smoothly. This morning we went to transfer the title of the car to my parents who are buying it from me. I had my military title and certificate which is what they gave me when I registered the car in Italy and they took my Maryland title. We went to the DMV and waited in line for half an hour. Once we were at the window, I explained to the lady what we wanted to do. She took my paperwork and started asking questions. Aftet about 10 minutes and a talk with the supervisor, I was told I needed to go down to West Palm Beach to the district office for a VIN check and to see if they accepted my military title as proof of ownership. This is so freaking annoying, specially since we are sort of in a hurry cause I am leaving for the UK in 2 days. I just hate all this red tape.

NYC

2006-04-22T23:37:00.000+01:00

We went to New York City on Wednesday. We had an appointment on Thursday at the British Consulate for my visa application. It all went smoothly and I now have a very pretty sticker on my passport saying I am allowed to live, work, etc in the UK for two years starting next Friday. It was easier than I thought it would be, which is great cause I hate immigration procedures, no matter the country. That's all that's going on really.

Withdrawals Of A Different Kind

2006-04-17T04:24:00.000+01:00

Right after the wedding, and during the days after, I was SO glad it was over. Planning a wedding is so much work that I was glad to see the fruits of my work. The wedding day itself was great but so tiring. I was up early and went to bed late, my feet hurt from walking in my shoes, etc. I was exhausted by the end of the day. It went by very fast and at the moment I was glad because I was so tried and I just wanted to rest and not have to think about the wedding for the first time in months.

As the days went by, I found myself daydreaming about my wedding, about the way I looked, how happy we were, the dress, etc. I love that dress! I wish I could wear it again. Then the withdrawals began. I never thought I'd have wedding withdrawals because I was relieved that after all those months of hard work the day had finally come and gone. Right now I am processing wedding pictures and I wishing more than ever that I could forever live that day, over and over again. Am I crazy? Absolutely, but all the hard work is worth it and it truly was the happiest day of my life.

Easy What???

2006-04-15T03:09:00.000+01:00

Last Friday we went on our second honeymoon cruise, this time a no frills one. EasyCruise is indeed no frills. We walked into the room and, at the widest point, Matt could outstretch his arms and just be 2 inches short of being able to reach both sides. There was nothing in the room except for two mattresses on the floor. The bathroom, which was a wet room, took up most of the space at the front of the room which left us with barely any room for our luggage. Thankfully, we were smart enough to just have one big bag between the two of us. Carrying it up the gangway wasn't fun either, for Matt anyway.

We didn't get to the ship until late afternoon so we just had a late lunch/early dinner on the ship, which was expensive and the service terribly slow, then showered and went out for a bit to see what little we could of St Lucia. We could here music coming from one of the waterside places so, after much begging, Matt agreed to go to this place if we could find it. After one futile search, we finally found it and went in. From the very second we walked through the door I could tell something was a bit off. We walked into the main bit and then it all became clear. We were there only white people there. Even more so, we were the only tourists there. We are by no means racist, but for obvious reasons, we felt rather uncomfortable. They were mostly teenage boys and a handful of girls. They were drinking and smoking god knows what. So, after asking for a Diet Pepsi and having been told they didn't have any, we made like shepherds and got the flock outta there. It was very obvious that it wasn't a party for tourists and we stuck out like a sore thumb.

That night we discovered the worst thing about the ship; the mattresses are incredibly hard. We hardly got any sleep the first night and every morning we'd wake up with back pain and I just tossed and turned all night. We hated the beds, with a passion. You could probably balance needle on it, that's how hard they were. The pillows were bad too, just one long, thin pillow that was too bulky and small when folded in two. I have backpacked before and stayed at less than comfy beds but nothing like this, never. Then there was the bathroom issue. It was a wet room so the water from the shower got into the toilet and sink area and it didn't drain properly AND the drain was on the opposite of where the water gravitated to so it formed puddles, which lead to stagnant water. Disgusting. However the bathroom issue was solved with a cabin cleaning (which wasn't part of the cruise cost and we had to pay extra for).

The next few days we spend in Barbados, St Vincent and the Grenadines, Martinique and Grenada. We rented cars and saw the sights, except in Bequia in the Grenadines because it was too small and in Grenada because every single company was out of cars thank to Easter weekend. Overall, it was a good trip and I would do EasyCruise again on a different itinerary..... if they changed the mattresses.

Lighter

2006-04-07T01:56:00.000+01:00

Not much going on today except that I dyed my hair. It was only the second time in my life (first as an adult) and it was quite funny. I pulled the tubes out of the box and proceeded to put the cream in one tube inside the applicator bottle where the rest of the mix was. My mom started applying the dye when I realized I may not have mixed it right. Turns out I had put the conditioner in the bottle and not the actual hair dye. LOL Thankfully it turned out OK and now I have light brown hair. Now off to pack for the second cruise tomorrow!

It's Mrs H. To You

2006-04-05T03:50:00.000+01:00

Before you are even born, your parents fight over the name they are going to give you. One wants Gretchen, the other some ungodly name which escapes me at the moment. They argue and they argue and then, the day of your birth, your mother's sister and your father's brother, who happen to be dating each other, decide THEY are going to name you and you end up with a name like Juneisy. As if that wasn't a hard enough name, your last name happens to be Quintana and apparently they didn't think of the mouthful your whole name will be.

Yup, that's me. I was not fortunate, or maybe unfortunate, enough to have a name like Maria or Juana. I spent all my life, since I can remember, spelling my name every single time I had to tell it to somebody. Anyone understands Jane Smith, but Juneisy Quintana is an entire different matter. It didn't bother me much as a kid, or I can't remember if it did, but as I got older I got tired of spelling it, of correcting people and if hearing my name butchered left and right. I love the name, don't get me wrong, but I know it's not very user friendly. I used to dream about the day I'd change my name to something shorter and simpler, and that day seemed so far away.

Well, I guess everything in its own time. Today was the day I got to change my name, BUT, as I had always dreamed, I didn't make it any easier to say, au contraire! I ended simply adding my new last name behind Quintana, which I kept as my middle name. I guess I just grew to love my name so I just couldn't part with it. I may have a long name, but it is MY name and it has been a part of me since the day I was born and what better way to keep true to myself than simply keeping it as my middle name? So it's Juneisy Quintana H. and that marks a new period of my life.

Less Than Perfect

2006-04-02T23:06:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, the ship took us to Holland America's private island in the Bahamas, Half Moon Cay. According to the shore excursions guy, this is the island where Christopher Columbus first set foot, but I wonder how many other islands claim that. The water was the most beautiful turquoise I have ever seen. It was a gorgeous morning and we had booked a jet ski "tour". After being ferried ashore, we were left in the dark as to what we were supposed to do so Matt assumed we were supposed to show at the place by ourselves so we followed the map. After a few minutes of walking we stopped seeing people around so I started to ponder that maybe we weren't supposed to go out there on our own and that we should have asked at the info desk what the hell we were supposed to do. I told Matt but apparently he misunderstood me and said that we were doing the right thing, his testosterone was just too much to admit that he was wrong and I was right. We argued and kept on walking. When we finally got to the place after about 10 minutes and about half an hour after we were supposed to, the woman at the hut told us we had to go all the way back to where we started from and check in at the information desk where they would put us on a truck back to the jet ski hut. I was so pissed and mad at Matt it's not even funny. He finally admitted I was right and started walking back to the info desk.

By this time I really thought we had completely missed the tour and that since everything else was booked they wouldn't put us on a later tour. I expressed how freaking pissed I was and the fact that we had missed the tour and he said "So, what do you want me to do, rip the tickets up and throw them away??" Uh? Luckily, we got back to the info desk and they checked us in and put us on a truck back to the jet skis. The ride was fun but longer than it absolutely had to be. It got pretty rough at times and I almost was thrown off the thing more than once. They had said it would be about 30 minutes long but it was in fact longer, we were out there from around 10:00 AM till about 10:50 AM.

This brought on a whole new issue. At first, we had booked a beach cabana for this day because we wanted a place with shade, drinks, etc but at $200 for the day, we decided it was just too expensive. We cancelled the cabana and booked a clamshell shade instead, that was $9. Yesterday, we were supposed to claim the clamshell by 11:00 am or they would give them out to people on a first come first served basis. So, with the jet ski thing lasting till 10:50 am and having to wait for the truck to take us back, we didn't make it to the clamshell claiming place till 11:05 am. We thought we'd still make it but no luck. Turns out the they had run out way before 11:00 am. How can this be?? We had prebooked it! Well, they had two ships in port and they had over-booked the stupid clamshells. Once again, I was freaking pissed. Nothing was going right and I just wanted to say "F%&@ it!" and go back to the ship. However, Matt said no and we found a shady spot under a tree for him to lay down. I stripped down to my swimsuit and headed for the water....EEK!!!! It was freezing! But I really had to pee so I braved it and went in hip deep. After lunch and a couple more hours of roasting in the sun, we went back to the ship exhausted.

The cruise was fun, for the most part, it had good and not so good moments but it was real. It wasn't a fairytale honeymoon where people have sex all day long and gaze into each other's eyes when they are not having sex, but it was real, it was us, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Unfortunately, all things must come to an end and we disembarked today. My parent's picked us up and gave us one of their cars. My thighs are sore from the jet ski and I can hardly walk. And the one negative side effect of a cruise, I stepped on the scale and I have gained almost 10 pounds since the wedding 13 days ago. Weight Watchers, here I come!!!!

Bikes And Winding Roads

2006-03-31T02:55:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was a fun day. The shipped docked in Dominica early in the morning and after breakfast, we went ashore for our Mountain Biking tour. We boarded a small bus that took us up a mountain through a very winding road. I sat at the front cause I thought I was gonna get car sick but I didn't. The weather at the bottom was perfect, warm, blue sky, white fluffy clouds, etc, however, it was a different story closer to the summit. When we got to our biking starting point, there was a big, black cloud which quickly let go and it started raining. I guess they call it the rain forest for a reason. The guide handed out the helmets, and by the time he was done, the rain had stopped. It was pretty cool up there, almost cold, and that was a welcomed relief.

We were given the bike that best suited each one of us and told to take it for a spin around the round-about. It was was a bit odd since I was going against the normal flow of traffic for me, they drive on the left side of the road, but the bike was fine. I hadn't ridden a bike in at least 3 years (spinning bikes don't count!) so I was a bit worried but it just came back to me. I guess what they say it's true, once you learn to ride a bicycle you never forget. We finally got going and it was great. The ride was mostly downhill with only one very step climb I just couldn't make so I walked up. As a matter of fact, only a few people actually made it up on their bikes, Matt was one of them. Going downhill on a bike on an empty road is fun, you pick up a lot of speed very quickly and you don't have to pedal, just hold on to the brakes. The temperature was nice, even when we got down to the hotter part. Well, down there it was nice when you were actually riding but it got hot as soon as you stopped. We stopped by a shack named "It's Nice To Be Nice" that is owned by a guy who gives people fruits free. He had bananas, pineapples, oranges, etc. He also had a delicious shredded coconut dessert that when eaten with a banana, according to him, you'd have an instant pina colada....LOL....

Just before that we stopped by a house where a Carib (indian) family lives and one of the kids was dressed in traditional Carib garb and had a basket full of cinnamon tree barks which he gave to us, free. It seems the people of Dominica are very nice and welcoming people. Towards the end of the ride (and just before the big climb), we stopped at the Layou River where we caught up with the river tubing tour group from the ship. The river and the landscape were beautiful and very peaceful and serene once the tubers had floated by. We went down for a swim, and for the fist time since I was a kid, I changed into my swimsuit behind a towel Matt held up LOL. The water was a bit cold, but not too bad and there was a natural jacuzzi on the other side of the river so I swam there. The water there was so warm and nice, which made it hard to get back into the river to swim to the other side.

After that we just rode past the big climb and to the coast where they took our bikes and gave us rum punch.....yummy! We still had some time left on the island but we decided we were too tired to do anything so we went back to the ship. The ship was having some sail away festivities I wanted to go to so I asked Matt to come along with me to the pool for a quick swim. I had to beg him until he said yes, then I grabbed my book and he asked surprised, "Are you gonna read???" I guess he thought it would just be a dunk in the pool and then back to the cabin so when I said "Yes!" he replied "I'm not coming then!" I said "fine!" and stormed out the door but not before having to go back into the room twice for things I kept forgetting. So much for my dramatic pissed off exit. I was out there for a little while but was feeling guilty for storming out like that so I went back to the cabin but I didn't say anything, except for "You want some?" referring to the plate of cheese I had in my hand. He said no and I made a bee line for the balcony where I laid down on a chair to get some sun. I didn't want to be the first one to give in so I stayed out there for a while hoping he'd come out and apologize or something but that didn't happen. I got tired of waiting and went back inside only to find him fast asleep. I guess he didn't take it as seriously as I did. We'd just had our first married fight and to be honest, I can't remember who said "I'm sorry" first but we made up and made out. That was the first out we had spent apart in 10 days, it was weird, but it made us both realize we are not attached at the hip. For dinner, we had made reservations at the Pinnacle Grill again and I barely made it through cause I was so sleepy. We crashed at 9:30 PM

Today we were woken up by the noise the ship makes when docking and by the overhead announcement about immigration. St Thomas, USVI, follows the same procedures as the United States when it comes to immigration so the whole ship had to be cleared before people could go ashore. Immigration officials came on board and we went into the theater or one of the bars, depending on what passport you carried. It was quick though. We were supposed to go on a sea trekking tour which would have taken us on a walk on the bottom of the sea but that got cancelled so we were left to fend for ourselves. At first we didn't know what to do but we ended up renting a car from Avis. The car was a Jeep Wrangler, and after seeing the roads, I had no doubt we needed 4 wheel drive! The island is mountainous so the roads are very steep.

We drove around till about 2:30 pm. We went to Coki Beach, which was very pretty, Magen's Bay Beach which was crowded and not as pretty, Hull Bay Beach and to a secluded beach called Dorothea Bay which we found thanks to a local who kindly helped us when we got lost and after directing us in the way we wanted to go, she said, pointing in the other direction, "There is a pretty little beach down there" There are small condos there so we had to park outside and walk in. It was beautiful but there was not a single person there.

After a bit more driving, we decided we'd had enough and returned the car. Right now we are sailing again and tomorrow is another day at sea, then it is Half Moon Cay in the Bahamas, Holland America's private island.

Oranjestad, Willemstad, stad, stad, stad

2006-03-28T00:50:00.000+01:00

Yesterday morning we finally hit our first port, Oranjestad, Aruba. We had requested a wake up call but I was up about 10 minutes before the phone rang. We had to get up early because we had booked a 4x4 off road Jeep shore excursion and we were supposed to be at the cruise terminal at 8:20 AM. We got on a bus that took us to where the Jeeps were and got paired up with another couple. I drove the first leg of the trip. Early in the morning the weather wasn't looking very promising, it was very cloudy but it cleared up, and got much hotter, as the day progressed.

Our first stop was the Casibari Rock Formations, these are massive mysterious boulders which no one knows how they got there. Their geology is very different from everything else in the island but there are more of these rock formations a little further to the North East. Second stop was the Natural Bridge. There used to be two, one very big 25 feet high and over 100 feet long bridge and a smaller one. A few months ago, however, the large one collapsed leaving just the little, unimpressive one for tourists to see. Then we went to the Alto Vista Chapel, which was originally built by the Spanish in 1750 and has been remodelled a few times since. The California Lighthouse was next, a tall, not very impressive lighthouse named after a British steamship which shipwrecked off the coast in 1891. All that time we were off road and I was by no means enjoying it. It was hot and my skin was sticking to the leather seats and sweating like a pig. It was dusty because we were driving through the desert (what ever happened to TROPICAL????); it was bumpy and just icky. My hair was disgusting with dust and even my clothes were dusty. How did I let Matt talk me into that??? Finally we stopped at the beach for about half an hour. Even though it was bloody hot, the water was cold so I had to get in little by little. After the 30 minutes were up we drove back to home base and then on the bus to the ship.

After lunch, I wanted to go to the beach but Matt had a headache. He's always complaining about the heat and he does not travel well, not in places where it's not cold anyway. This drives me nuts because I can tough it out but he can't. He makes these puppy dog faces and wants to stay inside. Around 3ish I finally convinced him to go to the beach so we took a cab there. We found a spot in the shade under a tree and he parked himself there. I took my clothes off and braved the cold water again, then laid out my towel in the sun and toasted for a bit. He wanted to go wade so I went with him. After a few minutes of that we decided we'd had enough and took the bus back to the ship. I understand that he burns in the sun and what not, but he was wearing sunscreen all day, I understand that he dehydrates quickly but he doesn't drink as much as he knows he should. I love him to death and we are very much compatible in everything else but when it comes to travelling in warm climates, I sometimes feel he slows me down. I know it is awful for me to say that and I hope he forgives me for it but it's the truth. However, he has just told me it's not his fault and I agree.

We were pretty tired so we crashed by 9:30 PM

This morning we docked in Willemstad, Curacao. The morning was once again cloudy but we decided we'd go out in town anyway since yesterday was the same and it turned into a nice day. It was pretty early, only about 8:30 am when we got off the ship and started walking around. We took the ferry to the other side of town, Punda, and walked around for a bit. It was hot but still overcast. At around 10ish we decided we wanted to rent a car so we started investigating our options. After a while we realized it wasn't as good, or easy, an idea as we had thought so we went back to the ship for lunch. At around 3:30 pm we headed out again to do a bit of shopping. I was hot but still cloudy, although not as bad as in the morning.

Tonight there's a deck party and fireworks as we leave the pier and tomorrow is another day at see so it won't be exciting enough to blog.

Two and a Half Days

2006-03-26T03:55:00.000+01:00

We boarded our honeymoon cruise in Fort Lauderdale at about 3:00 pm and sailed a little after 5:00 pm. We were directed to our veranda suite and we proceeded to eat lunch. This ship, the Volendam, is by no means a big ship but I only found this out by walking around. I was expecting one of those grandiose, larger than life atriums you see in pictures or in brochures but this one is nothing like those. It’s rather small and uninspiring, however, the ship size of the ship makes it easier to have more staff per guests than a big ship.

We have been at sea for the past 2 and a half days so nothing really exciting to tell yet. Last night we went to the Captain’s Welcome Reception where everyone on board was invited. We got there late so we got bad seats, but even then, it was nice and there was free booze. After the reception, which we decided to go to right when it started and thus threw some nice clothes on in a hurry, we showered and dressed properly for a nice meal at the Pinnacle Grill.

I had made a reservation so we were just escorted to our table where, for the first time, we were seated side by side instead of facing each other. It was nice. I had Dungeness Crab Cakes for appetizer and Matt had the Thai Chicken Soup. The crab cakes were very tasty but small, gourmet portions I guess. Our main dish was a Pinnacle cut Fillet Mignon with Béarnaise sauce, I had creamed spinach and scalloped potatoes as side dishes and Matt had scalloped potatoes and asparagus with hollandaise sauce. The steak was divine! Mind you, not as good as the one at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse but close. The spinach was really good too, even for a non green veggies eater like me, and the potatoes were better. We decided to get some champagne since we were celebrating anyway so we ordered a $78 bottle of some Curve Rose but the name escapes me right now. I’m a lightweight so after the second glass I was tipsy and drunk by the third. I was laughing like a nut and staggering. We thought it would be fun to go to the casino and gamble some money. We started out with $10, lost it, got $20 charged to the room and played some more. We won about $30 but spent it all….LOL…so I guess we lost $60. It was fun, we had a great time and we liked the Pinnacle Grill so much we are going a back in a few days.

Today was slightly more active. We decided to actually partake in the ship’s activities so at about 10:15 am we headed over to the ship’s kitchen for a tour. I guess once you’ve seen a ship’s kitchen you’ve seen them all, this one looked an awful lot like the USNS Comfort’s kitchen. After the tour we went into the culinary center for a show that started at 11:00 am. We got there early enough to get front row seats. That too was fun and after the show, we got to taste the food.

It was lunch time by then so we went into the main dining room for burgers and fish and chips lol. We then hurried to make it to the ping pong tournament but it was full by the time we got there. We tested our knowledge in a team trivia game, then we played some bingo, etc. We were invited to a VIP only cocktail reception with the Captain at the Crow’s Nest bar on the 9th deck. That was fun because unlike the reception yesterday, there were few people there. I am not sure why we got invited but we did. To be exact, Matt got invited and I crashed the party. The invitation was for Mr. Matthew Hawkins. We sat with this nice old couple who are on their 13th cruise and have been married for almost 50 years, their anniversary is in April. The finger food was good and once again, free drinks. Being at a VIP party really makes you feel important, even if it’s just on a cruise. We were the youngest couple there. I had two glasses of champagne and got tipsy again. Our dining time is 8:00 pm so we had to leave the party early to make dinner.

Right now I am in the Exploration Café posting this from a very expensive internet connection, I am that dedicated ;) Tomorrow we dock in Aruba and the real fun begins!

It's All Been Done

2006-03-22T05:01:00.000Z

Yesterday was just unreal. It started out as a very quiet day and remained so until around noon, then the craziness started and the day was over in the blink of an eye. I woke up at around 8:00 AM and just couldn't fall asleep again. I hung around and just relaxed till almost noon when the hair and make up lady arrived at my hotel room. We got to it right away. By the time she was done with my hair and make up it was already pretty crazy, and then the photographers arrived...at the same time as the florists with the flowers...then it got REALLY crazy.

The flowers were beautiful, gorgeous, exactly what I wanted. I loved my bouquet. The photographers started taking pictures of my shoes, jewelry, garter, etc and then of me pretending to put make up on a what not. The the time to put on the dress came, that was a trip! They photographed and videographed the whole thing. We took pictures and video for the next hour or so until about 3:35 PM, just after my dad and my step dad arrived, half an hour late! I was pissed but I let it go. My mom, my dad and I got into the limo and headed for the church. The limo driver didn't know how to get to the church so I had to should directions from the back seat until my dad took over. Ridiculous. On top of that, he was braking so hard that I got nauseous and I thought I was gonna throw up if we didn't make it to the church soon.

We finally got to the church and they helped me out of the limo. I didn't realize it would be so difficult to sit, bend over and get in and out of a car in a wedding dress. We went into the church through a side door and my dad and I waited in the Bride's Room until it was showtime. Mind you, we got there with 5 minutes to spare so the waiting wasn't long. The coordinator lined everybody up and when the music started playing, she came and got us to join the line.

That's when I first cried. I was holding my dad's arm behind the closed curtains and had to lift my thigh length blusher to wipe my tears, which in return, made my dad tear up as well. Canon in D started playing and the mothers and bridal party started walking, then the music changed to Trumpet Voluntary and it was my turn. I held my dad's arm tight and looked straight ahead. I swear I didn't see anybody. I don't even remember looking at anything but Matt. I didn't actually look around and at who was there until I was already on the last step of the altar and the minister had started talking.

When I got to the end of the aisle, they played the first solo. So, for two minutes I stood there, holding my dad's arms wiping my tears every now and then and staring at Matt. Those were the longest couple minutes of my life. Once the solo was over my dad handed me over to Matt and we walked up the steps together. We held hands and the ceremony started. I can't remember most of what the minister said because I was too busy looking at Matt and whispering stuff to each other......and smiling. My feet were killing me!

When we got to the vows part I totally lost it. I read the first word and I was sobbing so bad I couldn't read and the tears were clouding up my vision and I couldn't actually see the words. I kept saying "I can't see, I cant see" Finally I got a hold myself and was able to read the vows, but I was sobbing the whole time. Matt had brought some tissues in his pockets and gave me one so I could wipe my tears.....so sweet :) When the time came for him to say his vows, I was all smiles. They were just music to my ears. I also had to wipe his tears once or twice. The best part of the ceremony was the kiss. We were overly dramatic and did the dip. It was cute and everyone loved it.

By the time the ceremony ended, I couldn't stand my shoes anymore so I took them off and did the formal portraits barefoot. It was such a relief. We did lots of photos in the church and then went outside where people were waiting with bells and bubbles. It was really cool. At this point, we were planning on heading to South Beach for some photos and we told the limo driver to take us there, however I don't he heard me and he took us to the ceremony. I was a bit upset but it turned out great because we didn't really have enough time for the South Beach plan. Instead, we did lots of photos at the Rusty Pelican and the beachy part close to it.

The cocktail hour started at 6:00 PM and we made our grand entrance at around 6:50 PM. It was great. We did our first dance and then got seated for a slideshow one of our friends had made for us. The Best Man gave his toast and dinner got served. We did all the traditional stuff, ate, danced, and fun. My feet were in so much pain that I decided to go barefoot and only put my shoes on when I had to, for things like the garter removal. I with I had brought comfortable flip flops or something. 55 people had RSVPed "yes" and only about 35-40 actually showed up so there were a lot of emtpy chairs. I was upset because it was a lot of wasted money but then realized that it was their loss and the important people were there. It turned out just fine because our very amazing vendors got to eat the same delish meal as us as opposed to club sandwiches, and let me tell you, they deserved it!

I just can't believe how quickly the day went by after noon. It seems like it was just the blink of an eye. We were so busy taking pictures, talking to the guests and having fun that we lost track of time. All those months of planning and agonizing over little details just gone! All in one day. My mom says everyone kept saying how great a wedding it was and how good the cake was. I am pleased with the way the day turned out but it was very, very, very exhausting. Some girls say they wish they could live in that day forever, but I cannot say the same. I had the time of my life and I am not sorry I did it but I never want to do it again.

PS. In case you were wondering, we were too exhausted to consummate the marriage last night, but I assure you it has been done ;)

Go!...

2006-03-20T04:41:00.000Z

I have been awake since 6:00 am and dozing between then and 8 am. I kept having weird dreams. I dreamed I was still in the navy and I had been selected to go on the first manned mission to Mars and it was happening tomorrow. In my dream, I kept reminding myself "The wedding is tomorrow! I can't go to Mars! How am I gonna tell Matt and my family I am not gonna be able to make it??" bizarre, huh? I don't know what to make of it but the fact that I kept reminding myself I had my own wedding to go to was a good sign.

We finally got out of bed at around 8:30 am, showered, packed our stuff and got ready for the rehearsal. We went to the Gables Diner for the rehearsal brunch where our families met for the first time, thankfully it went well. After brunch we headed to the church. When we got there it was packed because of several christenings that had happened just before. We had to wait a while for the minister who then kicked people out of the church so we could rehearse. We went over the details of the walking up and down the aisle and practiced. I just smiled down the aisle, it just felt so weird to be doing this. I can't wait till tomorrow so we can do it for real. The minister also signed and dated the marriage license (tomorrow's date) and had the witnesses sign.

I needed my nails done so I went back to the mall and took Matt along with me. I got my crystal gel nails and Matt got his polish redone cause it was chipping. We then went to dinner with Matt's parents and his uncle and his girlfriend. The food was awesome and Matt's uncle gave us a very generous wedding present.

Now I am sitting in the hotel room I will be getting prepped in tomorrow and the one Matt and I will spend our first night as a married couple. I am feeling a bit guilty about sleeping on that bed without him. I am ready for tomorrow to come and become a Mrs.!

Set....

2006-03-19T03:45:00.000Z

The past few days have been a bit hectic. On Wednesday we packed the Expedition with all our wedding junk and the honeymoon stuff. We folded the rear seats down and stuffed it completely. I didn't realize we had so much stuff to bring down here. We picked up my wedding dress and hung in on the middle seat. I'm glad we had a car this big otherwise I don't know how we would have transported all that.

At 3:30 pm or so we checked into the hotel, unloaded the car and headed for the airport to pick Matt's parents up. We had to wait over an hour for them because the immigration lines were so long. We went out for a meal at night before leaving them to rest.

On Thursday we got up around 8:00 am, had breakfast and took Matt's parents to the rental car place where they had booked a car. We left them there and headed off to run some more wedding errands. We dropped off the cake stand and topper at the bakery, went to the Rusty Pelican to make our final payment and final arrangements and then to the linen place where we ended up renting 9 table cloths to match the sashes on the chairs. At 7:00 pm we met up with the day of coordinator to give her all the wedding stuff to set up and went over some things with her. She's been great to so far. After that we took Matt's parents and brother to Versailles, a very well known Cuban restaurant on 8th street. They liked the food, thankfully.

On Friday we went to Dolphin Mall so I could get a pedicure. We walked around the mall, I got my pedicure and Matt got a manicure. We had lunch at Johnny Rockets and headed back to the hotel so I could go to my 2nd hair trial. I drove all the way up to Pembroke Pines to the salon where my make up and hair for the wedding day lady works. We tried a different updo this time and I really liked it, it was exactly what I wanted.

Today we went in search of hair pins since the ones I ordered online haven't arrived. I am not wearing a tiara but I want some sort of hair accessory so pins are the best way to go. We found them in the first store we stopped at. They are very pretty, if not exactly cheap. We came back to the hotel so we could pack, tidy up, iron our clothes for tomorrow, etc. I had bought a dress for the rehearsal that I liked, I tried it on today and I didn't like how it fit, it seems the dress has shrunk (wink wink). So, after deciding I couldn't wear that dress, Matt and I went shopping for something for me to wear. We walked up and down the mall, I tried on lots of outfits, but in the end, we didn't buy anything. I am just too fat and nothing fits, nothing looks good on me. I tried this one dress on that I actually liked and fit fine but the stupid zipper was broken. After a very disappointing, stressful and downright depressing afternoon at the mall, I came back to the hotel empty handed and with very low spirits.

It was about dinner time and I didn't really wanna eat since I'd been having all these fat issues today but I was dragged out because a couple of friends of ours arrived today from Maryland and Pennsylvania for the wedding and wanted to meet for dinner. We went to yet another Cuban restaurant and as usual, I ended up eating more that I should have. I have concluded that I am a masochist. Every night after I eat I say I'm never eating like that again and then I do the next night and the cycle repeats itself. It's frustrating. I am now freaking out that I won't be able to fit into my wedding dress or stay in it all night. I was able to lose all this weight and now I don't know what happened to my self control.

On the way to the mall we drove by my high school. I hadn't been there since I graduated in 1999. I couldn't believe how much it's changed! They've added fences, benches, outdoor sitting areas, etc. It just looked so different, its not the same school I remember. Even then, I got very nostalgic. All those high school memories flooded my head. My friends, my teachers, classrooms. It was very weird. I never thought I was the nostalgic type but age really does change you. I have found that as I get older I find myself appreciating more the things I had or experienced in the past, like all of a sudden they have some hidden meaning that I never saw before. It made me realize that I am not a kid anymore, I am getting older, maybe even wiser. It just hit me..... "Crap, my 10 year reunion is in just 3 years!" I can't believe it it has been that long since I graduated. I think it was a good idea to have driven there today as I get ready to get married in just 2 days. It's good to reminisce every now and then, specially so close to such a life changing event. It reassures us of who we are and where we can from, how we developed our personalities and characters, which in returns helps us see where are headed and appreciate our accomplishments. Maybe in 3 years I will return to Miami Springs Senior High, the Home of the Golden Hawks for our 10 year reunion, maybe I won't, but what I do know is that it will always have a place in my heart.

Ready....

2006-03-15T04:47:00.000Z

Things have mellowed out a bit. The arguing has diminished and the stuff for the wedding has been finished. We still need see some vendors and arrange a few more things but other than that we are set. I had my 3rd and final dress fitting on Monday. The dress was perfect, it finally looked like it was made for me. I am so in love with it I wanna do a post wedding photo shoot just so I can wear it again, Matt is OK with that.

Tomorrow we leave for Miami. We pick up my dress, all clean and pressed, on the way down. We are checking into the hotel and then picking up Matt's parents for the airport. The wedding is only 5 days away and things are actually falling into place. We still don't have a location for the photos after the ceremony but we are still working on that. We may go to some ruins in Coral Gables or maybe Downtown or something to take some funky, modern portraits. To be honest, I had my heart set on the Biltmore Hotel right across from the church but they are just too strict with the time they allow for photos.

On Sunday Matt as feeling a bit sick but I was starting to get cabin fever so in the late afternoon we went out in search of the beach for sunset pictures and for scouting locations for sunrise pictures the next day that never happened. We drove around for a bit until we finally came to the bridge that connects Jensen Beach to Hutchinson Island. It was nice but sunrise would have been a much better time for that area. The good thing was that we got out of the house and had some fun. Then we went to Chilis for some baby back ribs.

I am so ready for this wedding day to finally be here! I have worked so hard so many months to make it happen and it just seems like I'll never see the fruit of my work. This has been the longest week!

You Say Tomayto, I Say Tomahto

2006-03-10T04:24:00.000Z

I had typed this really, really long entry and when I tried to do the spell check and changed the pop up settings the stupid page refreshed and I lost everything. These is not the first time this happens and I thought I was gonna have a hissy fit but I got a hold of myself and just laid in bed with my eyes closes for a few minutes while Matt hugged me. It is too late now for me to retype everything so I'll leave it till tomorrow, then I'll edit the post.

Take 2:

This morning started with one of those "are you sure you wanna get married?" talks. We hadn't had one in a long time but I guess being just 11 days away from the wedding is bringing all these anxieties back. I know people think that having these kind of thoughts means you should really reconsider your decision, but I think having them is normal and not having would be a bad sign. After all, marriage is a very serious step in anyone's life and I am not taking it lightly. I am in it for the long run and the thought if failure scares the living crap out of me. I am gonna work really hard it because I don't wanna end up a statistic like my parents. I'm much rather end up like Matt's parents still happily married after 28 years.

The good news is, that every time we have this conversation, the result is always the same and the answer to the question is always the same. Yes, I do want to marry him and he does want to marry me. We know it's not gonna be easy but we've come this far for a reason and we truly believe we are meant to be together, even though we are not carbon copies of each other. To be honest, I wouldn't want us to be!

After we finally got out of bed, we watched a couple episodes of "A Wedding Story" on TLC. During the first episode, when they were introducing the new Mr. and Mrs. at the reception, Matt and I cried on each other's shoulders like babies. I don't know if it was because we imagined us in that same situation in a few days or what, but it was odd. Not necessarily a bad odd, but odd nonetheless. I was actually supposed to be showering and washing my hair during that time because we had to be at the spa at noon. I finally got around to showering at 11:30 am but didn't have time to wash my hair so I left with dirty hair. THE HORROR!!!! Note the sarcasm.

We got to the spa just in time. After months of badgering, Matt finally agreed to getting a facial, with the condition that I would be on the premises. Such a baby. So, I booked a pedicure for myself so I wouldn't be bored silly while he got pampered. When I got done, they sat me in a room to wait for Matt. About an hour later, some girl came in to tell me he had been waiting in another room for the past 15 minutes. This whole facial thing brought up an argument. He kept complaining how boring the process was, how incredibly dull and pointless. He was just being a sourpuss. I apologized for having made him go through with it. It just seems like I just can't get anything right with him lately.

The afternoon was dedicated to doing more wedding stuff. We (I) finished the table card numbers. That was hard. I had to do the number 4 like five times. My grandma hemmed my crinoline and repaired the damages caused but the washer, now I can actually walk without tripping all over myself. She also fixed a shirt that the straps were a bit too long, she's great :) We also wanted to see what the wedding table centerpieces looked like so we set my mom's table up with the candelabra, candles, etc. We tried different combinations and came up with one we liked, and it happened to be a simple one. We are glad we did this so now we can tell the coordinator how to set them up.

He's a picky eater, at least lately, so, when dinner time came and my mom made lobster, we decided to go out for dinner. When we walked out to the car, my brother was out there with his girlfriend. I told Matt to ask them out to dinner and he said no. At first he said he valued our time alone but I told him this one time wouldn't kill us. He said OK, but still wouldn't ask them. It was fine if I was the one to ask but he completely refused to do it. This brought on a whole new argument. I won't go into details cause it got a bit serious. It seems like all we do lately is argue. We argue about what we eat, we argue about money, about shoes, about him not making phone a phone call, etc. I feel like I have to do everything, I have to solve every problem and I don't like it. I know that we have been edgy lately because we are stressed about this entire situation, we are living with my parents so we have no privacy, the wedding is so close, etc, but this arguing has got to stop.

We ended up not asking my brother to dinner and going to Longhorn Steakhouse. I had a ribeye with broccoli and he had some steak with a baked sweet potato with butter and cinnamon. That sweet potato was really good. For dessert we had a Caramel Apple Goldrush......man was it good! We devoured that thing like two hungry lions. I was amazing. We were in the same shopping center as Barnes and Nobles so we went there after dinner. We bought over $113 worth of books and magazines. Nuts. He wanted to drive so I let him drive us home. This was his first time driving on the right side of the road with the wheel on the left side of the car. I was nervous but he did fine. After having dissed my mom's huge Expedition, at the end of the drive he said "I like it! Can I have one??"

The List Keeps Getting Shorter....

2006-03-08T04:19:00.000Z

Today has actually been a very productive day. I bought a box of Rit Dye yesterday to dye my crinoline. I want it to dye it light blue and the closest color I could find was Evening Blue. I was a little hesitant, but this morning I went ahead and took the plunge, literally. I followed the instructions on the box for the washer dying method. After the dying and washing process was over, the slip was severely tie-dyed even though I had untwisted it during the dying process. The color was nice though.

I went back to Michaels and bought another box of the dye and did everything again. This time the color was much more even (almost perfect) but a bit darker. It's still nice and bright though. However, the fabric didn't withstand the second cycle in the washer and it tore at the seams on one side. Thankfully, the damage is easily fixable and no one will see my crinoline that upclose and personal anyway, besides Matt and he's already seen it cause he helped me dye it.

Last night I printed everything for the programs and it took us the better part of the day today to actually assemble them, but finally they are completely finished. They came out nice too, I'm pleased with them.

I have gotten the final invoice for the reception venue, which turned out to be much less than we had budgeted for; But then again, only 57 of the 82 people we invited are coming. I have typed a list of the things we will be giving the coordinator for the day of the wedding to set up and what everything is for, how to set it up, etc. I hope she doesn't think I'm a pain in the ass. If we had all day to set this up I would do it myself in the morning but we can only get in at 4pm and that's when the ceremony starts.

There are still a lot of things to do but I am making progress and that makes me happy. Today's been one of those days for Matt and he's just been here but not really, if you know what I mean. I think all this spanish and non-familiarity is getting to him. I feel sorry for him and I understand completely but there is really not much I can do and today I felt like he was kinda taking it out on me. Tomorrow is brand new day, we'll see what happens.

Wedding Shower, Etc

2006-03-07T04:44:00.000Z

It seems like I just can't quite catch up lately. I haven't been blogging as often as I used to but I haven't necessarily been busy, just lazy. Saturday was my bridal shower, well, ours because it was a Jack and Jill, boys and girls. My parents left for Miami, where the shower took place, on Friday, so Friday afternoon and Saturday morning we had the house to ourselves ;) We left for the shower on Saturday morning and got there around 12:30pm

My mom had put 1:00pm on the invitations but we weren't expecting anyone to show up at that time, after all, they are all on Cuban time (eg. 1-3 hours behind). However, out of the people that had said would go, only my family and some friends showed up. We got 4 gifts and lots of food since my mom bought food for about 40 people. The cake was delicious and the rice and plantains too. So much for my low carb diet!

We didn't wanna stay in Miami that night so we drove back up right after the shower was over. We were exhausted so we pretty much went straight to bed.

We have actually done a lot of the stuff we needed to do. We have chased all the missing RSVPs, made the sitting chart, printed the programs and have them ready to be assembled, bought Matt's 2nd suit for the cruise, we have bought the baskets for the programs, etc. Quite a bit done, I'm glad about that because I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with so much to do. We also finished the menu cards.

Today was my 2nd dress fitting and the dress still needs a lot to be done. First of all, it was too long and I couldn't walk without tripping over it. When I tried it on for the 1st fitting I wore a Victoria's Secret corset kinda bra but it was too tight and I decided I just could not wear that all day so I decided to wear the Spanx bodysuit instead. Because of that, the dress was still quite big around my bust so they have to fix that too. I tried a regular strapless bra but the dress is too low in the back so that didn't work either. In the end the seamstress decided it would be better to sew bra cups into the dress for fullness and comfort. The only other problem, which seems unsolvable, is the design at the bottom of the dress. I am too short so some of it gets lost in the hem. I thought they would undo it and move it up but she says it's not worth it. I am not happy about that but there is not much I can do. Now I have to go back on Monday for a 3rd, and hopefully final, fitting. I'm crossing my fingers that will be it.

Catch Up

2006-03-04T04:48:00.000Z

It's been a few days since I last blogged so I thought this would be as good a time as any.

On Wednesday afternoon I drove down to Miami to pick Matt up from the airport. I was at the arrivals hall at 4pm and his flight had landed a few minutes before. I waited impatiently by the glass corridor for him to come out. At 4:20 pm, when he still hadn't come out, I called him to see where he was. He was half way down the immigration line. About half an hour later I got a text message from him saying he had been held up by immigration and they wouldn't let him go until they verified something. At this point we didn't know what it was they were verifying. I was worried and he was shitting his pants. I was worried he'd be sent to immigration prison for whatever it was he supposedly did and he was worried they'd send him back to the UK and wouldn't be able to be here for the wedding. LOL

Over one and half hours later, they let him go. It turns out he didn't have an exit stamp for last May. We only had a flight to the Dominican Republic that connected in New York, they stamped him on the way in coming back but not the way out. The stupid thing is, we entered the US in October with absolutely no problems. When he finally came out to the arrivals hall we just hugged for like a minute, tight hug. We just would not let go of each other, I thought I was gonna cry because I had been so scared he'd get in trouble or something.

As it turns out, this would also be a happy day. His arrival in the US marked the last day of the last period of separation we'll ever have to endure, at least non voluntary separation. From now on we'll only be apart when and if we want to. No more long distance, no more weeks without seeing each other. We are happy about that.

Yesterday we woke up VERY early (4:45 am) because he was, and still is, jet lagged. We just stayed in bed till after 7, just talking and cuddling, it was great......except for the waking up at o'dark early. We had breakfast and went Downtown to get our marriage license. After we got it we were acting like two little kids that had just done something naughty. We were giggling and just smiling like nuts. We then drove up to meet the photographer on the way to my parents'.

The photographer was great. We just love his work and he's very easy to get along with, unlike our previous one. He listened to everything we wanted and even volunteered to come along with me on a bridal shoot to give me some pointers and advice. We are really excited to have him photograph our wedding.

I guess it's just been a productive week. We bought clothes for Matt, clothes for me, the groomsman's gift, finished and printed the menu cards, etc. There is still a lot to do but we are making progress.

Right now, I just can't sleep, so here he is, next to me, fast asleep and I am typing away. The poor thing was so sleepy and still jet lagged that he could sleep through anything. It's usually the other way around, I'm always sleepy and he's not so I guess this is a change from the ordinary.

Primping

2006-02-28T04:21:00.000Z

Today I have my first dress fitting. We drove one and half hours south to this one lady that came very highly recommended. I got into my dress, crinoline, shoes, bustier and all and stood looking at myself in the mirror while they pinned the dress away. The bust needs to be taken in and the length adjusted. I am flat chested and short lol. I love my dress.

After that we drove to the place where I was doing the hair and make up trial. The appointment was at 5 pm but got seriously lost. We went all the way inside the Fort Lauderdale airport and back out. We didn't actually make it to the place until 6 pm. We quickly got to work. I loved the make up but I am not so sure about the hair. I want something clean looking and slick. I don't know if the problem is her or that my hair is too short for what I have in mind. I have booked her and gave the deposit but I am really not crazy about the hair and I don't know what to do.

I have also been working on the programs. Man, that's hard work! Why did I ever decide I wanted to have them??? Can't wait for Matt to get here to put him to work!