You Say Tomayto, I Say Tomahto

I had typed this really, really long entry and when I tried to do the spell check and changed the pop up settings the stupid page refreshed and I lost everything. These is not the first time this happens and I thought I was gonna have a hissy fit but I got a hold of myself and just laid in bed with my eyes closes for a few minutes while Matt hugged me. It is too late now for me to retype everything so I'll leave it till tomorrow, then I'll edit the post.

Take 2:

This morning started with one of those "are you sure you wanna get married?" talks. We hadn't had one in a long time but I guess being just 11 days away from the wedding is bringing all these anxieties back. I know people think that having these kind of thoughts means you should really reconsider your decision, but I think having them is normal and not having would be a bad sign. After all, marriage is a very serious step in anyone's life and I am not taking it lightly. I am in it for the long run and the thought if failure scares the living crap out of me. I am gonna work really hard it because I don't wanna end up a statistic like my parents. I'm much rather end up like Matt's parents still happily married after 28 years.

The good news is, that every time we have this conversation, the result is always the same and the answer to the question is always the same. Yes, I do want to marry him and he does want to marry me. We know it's not gonna be easy but we've come this far for a reason and we truly believe we are meant to be together, even though we are not carbon copies of each other. To be honest, I wouldn't want us to be!

After we finally got out of bed, we watched a couple episodes of "A Wedding Story" on TLC. During the first episode, when they were introducing the new Mr. and Mrs. at the reception, Matt and I cried on each other's shoulders like babies. I don't know if it was because we imagined us in that same situation in a few days or what, but it was odd. Not necessarily a bad odd, but odd nonetheless. I was actually supposed to be showering and washing my hair during that time because we had to be at the spa at noon. I finally got around to showering at 11:30 am but didn't have time to wash my hair so I left with dirty hair. THE HORROR!!!! Note the sarcasm.

We got to the spa just in time. After months of badgering, Matt finally agreed to getting a facial, with the condition that I would be on the premises. Such a baby. So, I booked a pedicure for myself so I wouldn't be bored silly while he got pampered. When I got done, they sat me in a room to wait for Matt. About an hour later, some girl came in to tell me he had been waiting in another room for the past 15 minutes. This whole facial thing brought up an argument. He kept complaining how boring the process was, how incredibly dull and pointless. He was just being a sourpuss. I apologized for having made him go through with it. It just seems like I just can't get anything right with him lately.

The afternoon was dedicated to doing more wedding stuff. We (I) finished the table card numbers. That was hard. I had to do the number 4 like five times. My grandma hemmed my crinoline and repaired the damages caused but the washer, now I can actually walk without tripping all over myself. She also fixed a shirt that the straps were a bit too long, she's great :) We also wanted to see what the wedding table centerpieces looked like so we set my mom's table up with the candelabra, candles, etc. We tried different combinations and came up with one we liked, and it happened to be a simple one. We are glad we did this so now we can tell the coordinator how to set them up.

He's a picky eater, at least lately, so, when dinner time came and my mom made lobster, we decided to go out for dinner. When we walked out to the car, my brother was out there with his girlfriend. I told Matt to ask them out to dinner and he said no. At first he said he valued our time alone but I told him this one time wouldn't kill us. He said OK, but still wouldn't ask them. It was fine if I was the one to ask but he completely refused to do it. This brought on a whole new argument. I won't go into details cause it got a bit serious. It seems like all we do lately is argue. We argue about what we eat, we argue about money, about shoes, about him not making phone a phone call, etc. I feel like I have to do everything, I have to solve every problem and I don't like it. I know that we have been edgy lately because we are stressed about this entire situation, we are living with my parents so we have no privacy, the wedding is so close, etc, but this arguing has got to stop.

We ended up not asking my brother to dinner and going to Longhorn Steakhouse. I had a ribeye with broccoli and he had some steak with a baked sweet potato with butter and cinnamon. That sweet potato was really good. For dessert we had a Caramel Apple Goldrush......man was it good! We devoured that thing like two hungry lions. I was amazing. We were in the same shopping center as Barnes and Nobles so we went there after dinner. We bought over $113 worth of books and magazines. Nuts. He wanted to drive so I let him drive us home. This was his first time driving on the right side of the road with the wheel on the left side of the car. I was nervous but he did fine. After having dissed my mom's huge Expedition, at the end of the drive he said "I like it! Can I have one??"