A Little Bit Older, A Whole Lot Wiser.

I turned 25 today and quite honestly, I am having a hard time coming to terms with it. For the past few days I have been on this "I am 25 and I have nothing to show" mood. It is not that I don't like the life I have, I do, I am just not where I thought I would be at 25. There are lots of things I thought I'd have accomplished by 25 that are so far, nonexistent. I spent days driving myself crazy with all sorts of self-pity and unhappy thoughts, I think I was driving Matt crazy too. Last, just after midnight, it was terrible. I just broke down. I finally went to sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, but not much. Matt was working and all my family is in the US so I spent my birthday alone, which only made matter worse. I felt lonely and even abandoned (I can be a bit of a drama queen) and I kept wishing I had some friends to celebrate with, or at least someone I could bitch about getting older at.

I was to meet Matt for dinner and as I was putting my make up on, I looked in the mirror and realized that yes, I may be 25, but I do not feel 25, and if I was going to get older, I would do it gracefully. So I put on some 4 inch heels, a shirt that shows a bit too much cleavage, some Chanel No. 5, packed a brand new handbag and strutted to the tube station. As weird as it may sound, I did feel better and empowered. I got to the restaurant where Matt was waiting with a beautiful flower bouquet and a card that said I was turning 21 (isn't he sweet???). We had a nice steak meal and headed home.

Today was a tough day for me, but tomorrow will be a brand new day and life goes on, 25 or not.