Almost Alive Again

I am just barely recovered from Saturday's wedding. It was just exhausting beyond belief. Even the couple 14+ hour weddings don't even compare. By the end of the night I was fatigued and downright ready to collapse that I was going to swear off wedding photography for good! LOL But who was I kidding, I like it too much. I did, however, come to the conclusion that 12 hours is my limit. I cannot shoot for more than 12 hours and be coherent and functioning. I will never book a wedding longer than 12 hours unless I am being paid big money. Lesson learned.

Baby Bye Bye Bye

I was just by chance reading the news on MSN, which I don't normally do and a headline caught my eye : "Bass: I'm gay". Bass refers to Lance Bass, member of 'N SYNC and former love of mine, if only in my mind. In their heyday, while I was still in my teens, I was so in love with this guy. Nevermind Justin or JC, Lance was my guy. I went to an 'N SYNC concert (please don't flame me, I was young and easily influenced!!!) just to see him, even if it was from the nosebleed seats. I admit that I didn't like many of their songs, but I still bought the album because he was in it. They were just hot and I was a fan. Now, some odd years later, I am ashamed to admit this because I don't see how I could have been so blinded by their bad music and Lance's devastatingly good looks, but I was. Then again, so were millions of other girls who I'm sure feel the same way now.

I was very surprised when I read the article, I would have never in a million years thought he was gay. I just didn't see it, not then, not now. It's just one of those teenage fantasies where the bubble has been burst. It's like saying goodbye to a fantasy world you always knew you'd never reach. Now I know how women felt when George Michael came out. I wonder if young teenage and preteen girls nowadays have even heard of 'N SYNC.

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=228739&GT1=7703

Walks and Thoughts

This morning when Matt left for work, I decided I'd get up early (for me) and go on a walk. I had been meaning to do it for a while but it's just been so hot lately that I just don't want to get dressed at all. Today was no different, by the time I got home at 1pm I was sticking to my clothes. If I didn't know any better I'd say we are in the tropics somewhere and not in cold, rainy England. This heat really makes it difficult to do anything, inside or out. I just want to sit by the fan all day.

On the way to the walk meeting point, I started thinking about my friends when I was growing up in Cuba. How much fun we had! I kept fantasizing about the day I'd be reunited with my best friend Yunitsa. I can imagine us looking at each other and just going in for a big hug and not wanting to let go. We haven't seen each other in almost 11 years but we have spoken on the phone and I know for a fact she can't wait to see me again. For one reason or another, I couldn't actually see her when I was in Cuba last, which really got me down because I so wanted to reminiscence. This got me thinking that I want to go back this year. This time I want to travel more and do more touristy stuff. I don't really know what got me thinking about this in the first place, but now I can't wait visit Cuba, so much so, that I started looking up flight fares as soon as I got home.

Goodbye

Sometimes, when you least expect it, a bunch of strangers come into your life and just creep in, without you realizing it. They make you laugh, they make you cry, the keep you entertained and they give you something to look forward to. They charm you and make you simply beg for more. You can't get enough of them. You can't wait to see what they do next, who they fall in love with, who they win over. You live every love affair with them, every up, every down, every moment of joy and every moment of anger, of pain and it makes you believe that you know them. You know that sooner or later they will go away and you can't really stop them. Then, after 8 years of living with them, poof, they are gone, forever. It breaks your heart and you can't help but let the tears roll down your cheeks and then you think..."hold on a minute, that was just a tv show!"

Today I finished the last episode of the season 8, the last season, of Charmed and boy it wasn't easy! It's really sad but that is it! I am not a tv freak by any means and this is the only show that I have ever been this attached to and it's really sad to think that was the end. Am I the only one that feels this way about a tv show? Am I really that sad and pathetic? I can't be the only one!

A Little Bit Older, A Whole Lot Wiser.

I turned 25 today and quite honestly, I am having a hard time coming to terms with it. For the past few days I have been on this "I am 25 and I have nothing to show" mood. It is not that I don't like the life I have, I do, I am just not where I thought I would be at 25. There are lots of things I thought I'd have accomplished by 25 that are so far, nonexistent. I spent days driving myself crazy with all sorts of self-pity and unhappy thoughts, I think I was driving Matt crazy too. Last, just after midnight, it was terrible. I just broke down. I finally went to sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, but not much. Matt was working and all my family is in the US so I spent my birthday alone, which only made matter worse. I felt lonely and even abandoned (I can be a bit of a drama queen) and I kept wishing I had some friends to celebrate with, or at least someone I could bitch about getting older at.

I was to meet Matt for dinner and as I was putting my make up on, I looked in the mirror and realized that yes, I may be 25, but I do not feel 25, and if I was going to get older, I would do it gracefully. So I put on some 4 inch heels, a shirt that shows a bit too much cleavage, some Chanel No. 5, packed a brand new handbag and strutted to the tube station. As weird as it may sound, I did feel better and empowered. I got to the restaurant where Matt was waiting with a beautiful flower bouquet and a card that said I was turning 21 (isn't he sweet???). We had a nice steak meal and headed home.

Today was a tough day for me, but tomorrow will be a brand new day and life goes on, 25 or not.

Almost Christmas

Thanks to my persuation skills (not really), I did get my birthday present just after midnight last night (this morning rather). Turns out I knew what it was all along, a shiny white iPod Nano :D I had been eyeing these for a while so I'm glad I got one now. I hooked it up to my computer right away and had to force myself to go to bed at 2am or so.

Today was the day we got together to celebrate all 4 birthdays, Matt's dad's, Matt's, mine and Matt's brother's because they all happen in the span of a month. We met up a nice pub/restaurant and had a very nice meal. After that we went back to Matt's parents' house and gave each other presents. It's like Christmas in July. I got seasons 4, 5, and 6 of Sex and the City and a handheld reflector I had asked for. Now I don't need an assistant to hold the reflector for me! It also means that now I get to buy toys I didn't get!

Not Much Excitement

I haven't really been doing much in the past few days. I called a couple bridal shops yesterday about leaving some promo material there and one of them said OK so I dropped it off today. Then I made Matt help me make some sense of the office/second bedroom which was a mess. Now most things are in their places on my desk. I had been wanting to get my studio set out and up to practice a little now that we have no furniture and have enough room. I was bored today so I made Matt help me bring it up from the garage. It took us a while to set it up so we didn't actually get many pictures done. I will try again tomorrow when we are dressed properly. I get my next birthday present tomorrow, in 23 minutes if I'm lucky! LOL So I am going to stay up a little while longer.

We saw the Pirates of the Caribbean last night, finally. It was a good movie but I think the real reason we wanted to see it was because we visited the Port Royal set when we were in St Vincent in April. Seeing the movie was like being there all over again. We recognized the bay, the set, the mountains, everything...Except for the communications tower they cloned out LOL. It wasn't a bad movie, an while I will not give out any spoilers, I will say that it is VERY obvious there will be a 3rd installment.

Excuse Me, I Have Breasts.

Sometimes I wonder if the designers of things like camera bags every think of women when they come up with their bags. I wanted to go on a walk in Hampstead today so I packed the brand spanking new camera bag Matt gave me yesterday. It is a sling bag, which in theory, is a great compromise between a backpack and a shoulder bag, except that they don't work for women, at least not for me, because women have.......are you ready for this???......breasts. No matter how I adjusted or arranged, the strap always came across my breasts, squishing them, deforming them and just making it completely uncomfortable. Is this a man's world or what??? I was really bummed because I really wanted this bag. This is not my first go at sling bags so I have decided that I have to stick to either a backpack or a shoulder bag, so much for comfort AND accessibility.

So, I packed my other bag, which is also the sling kind but has a thinner strap, and went ahead with my walk. It was a guided walk by the London Walks people. It was hot but it was a good walk. We stopped by the house of Judi Dench, Russell Crowe, and even Boy George amongst others. Hamsptead is a pretty and pleasant place, too bad we can't afford to live there.

Happy Birthday Honey!!!!

I have never been a very patient person, and even less so when since I met Matt. Don't ask me why, I really don't know. Last year I forced him to give me my birthday present on HIS birthday, it took a lot of begging because my birthday wasn't till 9 days later, but in the end, he gave it to me. It turned out to be a gorgeous engagement ring and the question "will you marry me?" fast-forward to this month. Once again, I have been driving him nuts asking about my present, but what is worth, I have been trying to badger him into taking HIS present early! LOL. It didn't work, he made me wait till the actual day to give it to him. So, at 00:00 today, I finally handed him the box. I got him the mp3 player he wanted and he loved it.

Today, while he was at work (finally started working again) I got him a cake and some balloons. I set the cake up on the table and watched out for him. When I heard the downstairs door slam, I lit the candles and waited. He was surprised, he didn't see it coming since I can't keep surprises to myself.

We then decided that it would be funny to inhale some helium. We did and had a bit of fun, until I inhaled too much and nearly passed out due to the lack of oxygen. It is NOT a pleasant feeling and something I definitely won't do again. It's funny now but I was scared at the time! LOL

I did manage to get him to give me one of my presents today, a lovely camera bag that I had been wanting. Thanks babe!

Am I Dead?

I meant to blog yesterday but when I remembered, it was way past midnight and I was very tired so I just went to sleep. I am still recovering from Saturday's wedding. It was a LONG day. I got picked up just after 7am and we were with the bride and groom for 15 hours. It was just exhausting and when i got home I just crashed. I was in pain all day yesterday, my entire body ached. I felt the sudden urge to scream every time I tried to stand up. I cannot believe how utterly draining that day was! Despite all that, it was a good day. The bride was gorgeous and I got many good shots that I can use for my website (http://www.jqhawkins.co.uk). The groom was also good looking which really helps. It was another Sikh wedding but this time it was the groom that was Sikh, the bride was Greek and they are having a full Greek wedding in Cyprus, where she is from. The more I shoot weddings the more I want to keep doing it. I really love it and even though it is very tiring and exhausting work, it is also rewarding and I am wishing with all my being that I make it in this business.

Short Women Don't Wear Pants.

Well, at least that is the impression I get from the fashion industry. I went down to Oxford Street this evening because I needed to get a pair of trousers for a job this weekend. I spent the better part of 3 hours in and out of fitting rooms trying on more pants that I cared to count. Pant after pant, it was just complete failure. It seems like you have to be at least 5'11" to be allowed to wear pants, otherwise you are restricted to skirts, and even then, you have to get "mid length" skits just so that it goes all the way down to your ankles. It gets really annoying after a while. The only way I have ever been able to wear pants that are not jeans is by buying "regular" ones and then have them hemmed. I don't know about the other short people out there, but it is VERY inconvenient for me.

Test Drive

Last night, just before we went to the store to get some Pepsi, just out of the blue, Matt asked me if I wanted to drive. At first I didn't think he was serious because up until now he's refused to let me drive because I am not insured to drive the car and only offered to let me drive once cause I was feeling pretty depressed and he wanted to cheer me up (we didn't actually go through with it). Well, this time I said yes and got in the car. It was a bit nerve-wrecking but we made it there and back in one piece. I drove again this morning to the post office where he took over. It wasn't any major but it's definitely a step closer. I hope to be driving on my own before the end of the year.

FBI Profiler

Matt and I went to his bank today to make his account a joint account. They collected some documents from us and had him fill out a form, no big deal. I decided that since I was already there I might as well open an account for myself so I can use it for the business money. They collected documents again and have me fill out a 13 page application. Opening a bank account here is what I imagine an FBI interrogation to be like. The thing is, it wasn't even a credit card, just an account so that I can use MY money. I really don't understand why they make it so hard for people to open a checking or even a savings account. You'd think they'd be eager to take your money, right? Just one more nuisance.